Funny Business

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had learned Magelight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

Hope that put a smile on your faces! TTFN

One more for today...

What did the Thalmor military officer call the Khajiit skooma dealer who had been shot 15 times?

Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

Soul of Skittle

edit: In the future I wont bother to explain, but as you can see the joke remains the same without the "country affiliations" that I put in there to personalize it to our recent conflict in our Guild Main Story. Any resemblance to an event or persons in real life is not intended and in no way reflects the feelings of the persona in charge of Angryskittle's comments. If it does, and that offends you, you can kiss my ass Two Moons.

*facepalms and growls threateningly*

This one takes offense to that in more ways than one.

Totally copied from another joke but it still made me laugh :)

A Khajiit, An Argonian, and a Breton are marooned on a desert isle, after searching the isle they come across a statue of Azura.

The statue says, "You can each have one wish."

The Breton says, "I want to go home to High Rock, and see my family." Poof he disappears in a puff of blue smoke, and presumably reappears in High Rock.

The Argonian says, "I want to go to my Uncle's place in Riften, and be able to swim in the lake there." Poof he disappears in another cloud of blue smoke.

The Khajiit scratches his head and says, "This one finds this too hard, I wish my two friends were back here to help me decide....."

An Orc walks into a bar in Cyrodiil with an ugly, one eyed, mangled parrot on his shoulder.

The barkeeper looks up, jumps back, and proclaims, "God what an ugly thing. Where did you get it?"

The parrot responded, "Orsinium. They are all over the #$%&# place."

A 5 foot tall Altmer stands in the middle of Five Claws with a water glass held above his head. He lets it drop to the floor, and it doesn't spill a drop. How did he do it?

The answer

The glass was empty!

There is an ancient invention still in use in Tamriel that allows one to see through walls. What is it?

The Answer:

A window!