The Journal of John "Wolf" Rosson

OOC disclaimer stuff:

This journal is written entirely in JOHN'S voice. His perspective, his opinions and his thoughts. In no way, shape, or form does this journal represent the opinions of his player!

Someone once told me that writing down my thoughts would be cathartic. I'm not so certain of that.

My time here in S'ren-ja, and with the Sugar Claws (formerly Blue Skooma Company), has been troubled at best. I knew that interacting with people would be challenging. I could not have guessed how much.

I have made few friends here, but many acquaintances. I even found my little sister, Lily, and for that I am grateful. Were it not for her I might have left the area long ago, following Delgar into the wilderness.

While on the topic of friends, I should mention that I managed to screw things up again. Milo and Lucrezia had a breakup, and like an idiot, I tried to help. Lu begged Lucian for Hircine's curse. He caved in, and Milo left her over it. Milo went chasing that crazy witch, Krimie, and I got back in town just in time to see Lucrezia nearly take a swing at her. From what I heard, she was being horrific, cruel, and insensitive. Again.

I'm insensitive and thick-headed, and that woman makes me look like a saint.

I, of course, couldn't tell her off for the lycanthropy. I'm a hypocritical asshole, but I couldn't do that to Lu. I made a joke when she complained about Milo flirting with little miss legs-up-to-her-neck, to make her smile. She took me seriously. I kissed her, thinking she was going to slap me. I knew I deserved it. But she didn't.

She kissed me back.

It was nice.

Milo asked me not to do it again, because he wanted to fix things. I said sure. Gave him the chance to patch things up, and she rejected him. I told her he wanted to make it better, to win her back. She said she wanted me and that she and Milo were through. I let her know that it couldn't be permanent. She seemed okay with that, so I carried her back behind the guard house.

The sex was okay. I'm not sure how well I did, it's been a long while since I'd been with a woman. I think she liked it. She asked me to keep it between us, so I did.

She didn't.

Milo took a swing at me and I let him. That, I expected. He was pissed. I didn't think he had much of a right to be, he didn't own her. They were through. But he was a friend and needed to lash out at something, so I let him. I should have left right then, but I stayed for Lucrezia. It was a mistake.

I fetching hate parties.

There's not a one damned party I have ever been to that ends well. Ja'Amore's death, kicked in the head and left naked on the floor in the clan house, skooma in the wine, poision in the wine, and attacked by a bloody-fanged vampire. I'm thinking that parties just invite trouble.

So the other night, I got this invitation to a small party out at the Arena. It was from Tal'Raja. Yeah, I know she's a vampire, and yeah, I know she's been having some issues lately. But I figured that maybe she had something to say, so I made an appearance.

Big. Mistake.

First off, the party consisted of four people. Four people does not make a party. And almost as soon as I arrived, Do'mojiq bailed and Tal'Raja tried to get me naked with a thinly veiled bet. The entire thing was uncomfortable. She asked me what I wanted, should I win the spar. My guess is that she was expecting a similar forfeiture of clothing. I really have no interest in seeing a naked khajiit. I've already seen her without a shirt and it wasn't that exciting.

I decided that I wanted her boots. I was betting that they were enchanted, and they looked a good size for Alainia. I guess that it was too much of a risk for her, and she backed out of the challenge. Her drunken khajiiti friend, however. Lover? I don't know. Seems like she gets around. Anyway, she convinced him to take up the bet. Not having many casual clothes, I wanted his shirt.

That fight was probably the best event all night. Raja's friend is skilled. He definitely lives up to the khajiit stereotype of being quick and limber. And those claws! It took me a long time to pin him, and not before he caught me with a kick to the face, tearing my cheek open with his claws.

I have five stitches closing up that wound. So worth it. At that point, I was having a pretty good time. Thinking back, I might have indulged in a drink or two, had Raja not flipped her collective shit.

I got the shirt, but...Tal'raja. Apparently the scent of blood on the air was too much for her and she lost it. The only thing I regret is leaving my sword on a bench during the fight. Her khajiit friend (damn it all, I can't remember his name) distracted her long enough for me to run for my weapon. I was trying to grab my gear and get the hell out of there when she changed into mist and got behind me. I should have had my back to the campfire to start, and she never would have been able to get so close. I swung and cut her down. I can only hope the fire did it's job and ended what Ser Krynger began.

I didn't stick around to see what happened. I grabbed my gear and backed out of there as soon as I could. I feel bad over losing a friend, but I think it's for the best. Tal'Raja was uncontrolled. I gave her chances, even defended her on occasion. Now I know that I shouldn't have. I don't know what I was expecting. Someone more like Donvyn, I imagine. Someone with the will to control her own blood-lust.

So yeah. Parties. They suck. I think I'll try to avoid them in the future.