The Journal and Writings of Jo'Zrijhi Taloj

Tirdus, 11th of Sun's Dusk

Been awhile since I picked up this pile of parchments... I attribute this to the interesting events that aspired in recent times.

For the first time since I left Skyrim, I have an student. Her name is Firiel Thevenin. She is interested in the artifacts and lore surround Daedric beings. I have yet to ask why, and I don't intend to. She is a Bosmer mercenary with a husband off studying magic...somewhere. Firiel can be a bit clueless or misinformed at times, but overall she has been a willing and capable student...

Recently, I received word from Elsweyr that my own Khajiiti wife has passed away. For someone I've been estranged from for more years than we were together...I will miss her gravely. Her village was attacked during the rise of the Dark Mane--I am told. She helped her siblings and some of the stranded villagers escape through am old well located at the center of town. However, as she was making her own escape, a magic attack from the pillagers caused a cave-in. Her body was not recovered, and her brother says that her body will remain under the rubble--serving as her everlasting grave. I will always remember the way her white fur gleamed in the moonlight and how prominent--and elegant--her stripes made her. Or, how her eyes reminded me of the sun at dusk...

In the wake of her death, I have kept myself even busier than usual. Between my independent research on Reaper's March's climate and its relationship with the Khajiiti goddess of Nirni and teaching Firiel, I have also become the Master of Lore in a town called S'ren-ja's Adventurer's Guild. It has been an entertaining undertaking--if nothing else.

That is how I met Feather Shadow...who I need to be careful around. I nearly admitted my sins...my crimes. I called my soul black and ragged... I nearly admitted the truth--something only my wife knew.

Something that no living soul knows.

S'ren-ja has provided many forms of entertainment--something always seems to be happening there--or perhaps someone that holds my interest will have appeared. It is where I met Phyriel, once again...

Phyriel. Phyriel. Phyriel... I'm not quite sure how to describe my relationship with Phyriel. She is a skooma-dealing Bosmer that recently got out of jail... Yet, I run into her at a tavern in Haven and give her information and gold to restart her business... I have offered my boat up as resting place, as well as my bed... Not two months after my wife--the only woman I've ever loved--died.

We had a talk about our relationship the other night. We both agree there is something there but have reached the decision not to change the dynamic of our relationship. I wonder how this would change if my wife was still alive... Would I have wanted more of a commitment? Would I have needed the emotional connection as much? No matter, there is no changing the events that have transpired.

I have also met a lesbian vampire that works as an assassin...or at least I believe she is a lesbian...and a vampire. However, she has yet to directly state either. Her name is El. We are planning to raid that Orc Keep in Grahtwood to retrieve a lorebook stolen from a fellow scholar...before he can... Firiel has also offered her assistance.

Then, at an auction in Marbruk, I met another woman named Latris. She seems intriguing enough... We wondered up to Coldharbour and tackled a few ruins and caves in search of Ayleid lore and relics... We have agreed to go again sometime...

At the moment, I sit on my boat docked in Malabal Tor--the one I purchased to travel the world with my wife so many years ago--and ponder these recent events.

How different life can be from the one imagined in the distant past...

Fredas, 12th day of Evening Star, 2E 582

Looking over my last entry, it is hard to believe so much can change in such a small span of time. Most of my happenings of late have revolved around my lover, Phyriel. However, that is not the starting point for this recount.

It started with regaining consciousness in the Clanmother's Mansion after fighting in the Battle of S'ren-ja. I am by no means a fighter--all of my combat knowledge comes from experience against bandits and low-lifes living in ruins and caverns throughout Tamriel, so it was no shock to find against experienced soldiers I was did not stand a chance. Seriously wounded, I awoke to El seated beside me. I owe her my gratitude and thanks for pulling me from the battlefield and being by my side.

She informed me of Ly'Anna, Laltris, and Astrid's part in assure I awoke after the battle. In return, I found items I thought they would place value in. After regaining some strength, I returned to my boat in Malabal Tor to recover the rest of the way. In this time, not once did I see Phyriel. At first, I thought maybe she moved on. However, word arrived from one of my informants that a group of skooma dealers were purging the lands of competition. Maybe, she had gone into hiding, as she said she would at the first sign of danger.

Yet, no word had arrived from the informant that I was paying to follow her. Until one day a few months after the last time I had saw Phy, he returned with news of her capture and escape from the torments of her competitors. She had returned to her homeland, Khenarthi's Roost, taking up residence in an abandoned house outside of Mistral. I set sail for Khenarthi's Roost immediately.

I found my elf exactly where my informant told me she would be. She was curled up on the old bed, facing the wall, and her hand on a dagger--which she had hidden under her pillow. Thankfully, she realized who I was prior to slitting my throat...that would have been an unfortunate end...

Phy told me a few details of the events that had transpired between the skooma dealers and her, but she did not want to give me a full account of what was done to her. There were lash marks on her back, a brand on her shoulder, and several other, less serious, wounds covering her body. I applied a medicinal spread that I had acquired to the infected cuts on her back and the burned flesh of her shoulder.

For the next month, I remained caring for her and providing for her basic needs, as she refused to leave the house for food, or anything else, for that matter. Then, she disappeared again.

For the next month and a half, I searched for her tirelessly, and just as I was giving up home, she left me a note. It was all my informant needed to track her back down in the Middens of Grahtwood. Upon my arrival there, I found her hallucinating and suffering from a skooma overdose. I took her back to my boat and found a healer, as fast as I could. It would seem that her addiction had built up a tolerance to the nightshade, which saved her life. A few hours later, she awoke. She was of sounder mind and stronger will.

My elf told me of her plans to find a Temple of Mara to help her--and reassurance that we would handle the road ahead together. We headed to Auridon, where we currently reside. I had yet to inform her of my own brush with death, wanting to focus on her health. It would seem our feelings for one another have only grown in our time together... I have yet to figure out what this means for our relationship. We say we love each other and are with no one else--currently--but we have yet to make anything formal... Maybe, that just isn't our style.

However, we have spoken of the future. We lead two different lives in two different locations. How does that impact the feelings and commitments we have given? I have neglected my work. She has neglected hers. How can I let a recovering skooma addict go back to producing and selling skooma? There is much to be discussed, as little has been decided.

In the two times I have left Phy's side since these events transpired, I have returned to S'ren-ja for some notes I left there one drunken night and attended the wedding of Gata, Ro'John, and Bhidul. I am not one for weddings, but I was happy to see Feather Shadow after such a long time.

In the meantime, I work on a book that I have put off for a long time, as to stay close to my love and continue my work. I felt myself the wrong person to tackle the topic, yet I am knowledgeable on the topic. Soon, I will have written a volume on Interspecies Courtship, Intimacy, and Procreation, starting with the Mer race, Bosmer, and the Beast race, Khajiit.