Kronos' journal

The penmanship of the owner is unknown to all who read the journal, given no one would have seen Kronos' handwriting to tell it was him. Also Tre'sho Foundly (his alias/alter ego) didn't seem to keep such things with him, so to all it would be a mystery who's journal popped up and vanished like a ghost. Who knows what would pop into the journal next. Ranting and raving? Despair and sorrow? Joy and glee? Only time would really tell, for now....

Useless, Useless, Useless, Useless. I am useless, pointless, unwanted and not needed. I can't do anything! Seems bad things follow in my wake, and darkness clings, the clinging. Why do I continue to linger in a world that has told me I do not belong? I am alone, I help but get nowhere...Doesn't help you keep myself away from others, push them away and rarely interact... I know...all the pain, why bring others into it?...Because friends can ease the pain... Or make it worse when they stab you in the back... Man you're a buzzkill... And you're a jerk...Truth hurts... I know, just tired... Tired of all the pain and suffering?... Yea, I've written my own death sentence just by existing... There you go again... Quiet... Hey you said it... I have nothing left to lose... And everything to gain, so keep pushing onward. Plus what would happen to all those people who come to you for trinkets and treasures?... To oblivion with them... Really?... They don't give a damn about me, they rarely pay me anymore and just expect me to hand over the stuff, if I don't they get mad... Your kindness sort of was the cause of that, though they did tell you that you could call in favors if need be... And what good would that do me?... You have people all across tamriel with open ears, surely they will listen if you need them to look into something... Doubt it... That was worthy of a sigh... Yea, well I lost both sets of parents was betrayed by an altmer and almost sold off into slavery, my first lover was murdered and she cursed me or blessed me I don't know! Then I was driven out of two clans I thought I belonged in. not to mention recent events... These trials has made you stronger, right?... I don't know... Then there was bhidul... I know, healed him up, but that almost killed me in the process, were it not for my helmet keeping my face hidden... Masks are something you can't live with out huh? you're shielding your eyes from reality... I hate the look of my own face, seeing it tears at my heart... Well, maybe we should write down what we have in our collection for future trades?... Fine, new page though this one is about done...

The next page, filled with various names and numbers...

Three drops of in bankorei... sure you spelled that right?... I don't know, don't care... Right...
Several varla stones in cyrodil, lost count... Should keep track, lots of things slip through the cracks... Added bonuses for them then.
Daedric idols and statuettes to Stonefalls... Yea dunmer are strange...
Lost, well just a family heirloom now... Sad they had to lose such a thing... They're all dead, damn necromancers....
Several pages of dwarven origin... They will be hard to deal with... I think I know someone...

The list went on for an entire page with items and commentary attached. Except one hat was underlined.

Staff of vampiric origin, looks to drain blood and life from the victim... Destroy it... I'll see if it can find a better use... Just because it is dark, does not mean it is only going to do evil.

On a new page, after the ledger was filled out or noted down, the craziness seemed to subside a little

Little early to write in the journal don't you think?... Can't sleep...Hmm...You got a better idea?... Sleep?... Funny... I'm serious... I told you I can't sleep... The thicker ink implied he hesitated writing before he did so. A sigh was obvious and could be felt almost. The wedding was nice, I watched something funny, even if I was a bit creepy. Oh well, a decent day yesterday. I should go and try to find something to eat. Bandits camps are good places to look, they can't get help from the guards when you drop in unannounced. Maybe I'm depressed...You ARE depressed, still not over what happened... Shut up... Just no real reason to be happy lately... You're alive... Your bad at humor... You'll get what you seek... I hope so... That wedding I felt like I was out of place in that chapel. Yea, sleep sounds good now...

A long thick line seperates entries in the page as he/the owner seemed intent on using every bit he could in this journal

Not much going on for the past few days, no real drive to do anything. I should find a place to make my home getting tired of being homeless. Had to visit a few bandit camps to get just enough for a decent meal. They thought they could actually try and stop me, which I found funny. Oh well...at least I can claim a few rewards from local guards. Sitting around though doesn't offer much to write about. At least things are going well for elsy and the others at vulkwasten. Wonder if she needs me to do anything. Probably not, she's got her eyes set on a male. Page is almost done, will throw in more another time.

With this new entry one could feel it would hold some weight in the owners mind as the strokes seemed to alter between light and slow with heavy and fast. Still, to have written it down the owner wanted to remember it, could be possible the owner does not have many good memories...

It is early in the morning, and I fear the day is not going to go well. It is still dark out too, I just got sleep near the boarders of cyrodil, when a young imperial boy woke me up by yanking on my tail. The first time I got some sleep in who knows how long and right out the door it went. Poor boy ruined his pants when I jumped from the brush I was sleeping in, and glared at him with out my helmet on. I don't blame him, he ran away from his parents with his pet cat. The thought alone somewhat disturbed me, probably because I'm khajiit. I managed to calm him down and help him find his cat, shame wolves got to it before we did. but their furs went to his new outfit I crafted for him. Still, makes me want to cry because I know EXACTLY how that boy feels. I didn't bother asking his name, still poor kitty. I took him to some of the people who contact me for things, and pulled a few favors to get him looked after as well as to get his family spied on to see if they were indeed the horrible people the boy claimed. Though I am glad he thought my fur was nice and soft, he fell asleep in my arms while I carried him. To my embarrassment I found myself purring while I walked too, luckily only a few people have heard me do such a thing. Guess I've never been happy enough to do so.

A heavy hand writes the entry that would be visible as the journal lay open to the page. Almost as if the owner wanted people to read this specific entry.

What is today? No clue, Time alone always gives me time to think, lately something has been on my mind. What is evil? I am sometimes starting to think the world is just seen in two views. One side or the other...Those who live in this world justify their actions by saying they 'are bringing justice to evil criminals.' or 'Doing what is right.' What is right? What is wrong? We grow up being told what is right and wrong, but can we really believe that? We do what we must to survive, it is our nature. Yet when our actions go against the beliefs of others they see us as evil and try to remove us even if we see them as evil and try to do the same. If what we do breaks the law it tries to bring justice upon us even if we are only trying to survive. We all deserve a chance to live, even vampires and werewolves, they are hunted and killed when they are still the same people they were before, just transformed into creatures with different needs to survive. Sure many degenerate into mindless creatures, but only because they did not have those close to them to help. When we are alone and struggling, do we not grow desperate? If given a chance to survive and live another day would we not take it? I think this world needs to stop seeing things as good or evil. Nothing will change though, people will still hunt vampires and werewolves because the divines hate them. Well the divines need to be taught a lesson then. My head hurts from all this, life in any form is precious even vampires are alive even if they do not age as they bleed, feel pain and can die. Others seem to quickly forget that the moment they see a vampire or know someone is a werewolf. I'm going for a walk...

The latest entry was written in blood, not ink the smell of the blood hinted daedric, yet mortal, not vampiric or of werewolf origin. Something must have snapped in the mind of the owner...

This world cares nothing for me it seems, all my hard work, my attempts at lighting the way for a better future. Useless...The blood of innocents won't be washed from my hands, but were they really so innocent? We're all guilty of one thing or another, perhaps those people have hurt someone in the past who later took their own life? Nothing is certain. Crime is on the rise, I'm part of it, but I'm only doing what I feel I should do, getting my anger and rage out on a world that would toss me aside in a moments notice. I take no pleasure in what I have done, but the pain this world contuse to make me suffer through must be brought to light. Lately a black senche panther, one I saved and helped nurse back to health, has been following me around. I named it fangs, I can seem to understand it even if it looks like i'm just talking to an animal. Maybe i'm going crazy... you are crazy... Shut up... you're writing in the blood of those you've murdered, not helping the look... Do you have any better ideas?... Nnnnnnnoooooo...... Thought so... they had families, loved ones, and you took that from them... They took my beloved away from me more than once... And that justifies your actions?.. Like the guard or queen would do anything about it... Why not let it go? and you better not start singing... Aww, that is a bit over done, but in order for others to understand they must experience, or they will remain ignorant... Perhaps, or not... I think I hear a guard... the page has been torn a bit and some blood stains the edges like the writer has hurried off

Nothing really interesting about the writing of todays entry...

Who knew stealing was an interesting way to make money, am I just a stereotype now? I have to wonder what my...actions make me. I help those in need, give money to the poor, put myself in harms way just to see the right thing done. The people only talking about the queen though, and those with power and influence. Like I never existed, have I met the queen? A few times, helped her out, she gave me thanks and asked for my name as well as to join her eyes, what ever those are...I just took off, she nor does anyone really care about me. The queen, new mane, silvenar and green lady...ugh sickens me...Though maybe it is just natural...Nah, so angry about how people just look at me like I have to help them, and if I decline they go crazy like I never did anything before and begin throwing words at me. So I have to keep asking myself, is this revenge for treating me poorly? Or are my crime sprees justified? Many would say no...I think so, you bring a man to the edge, then push him over and then get angry when he lashes out? No one understands it is their fault for what I've done. I paid off my bounty a few times only to go and steal and kill some more, well not really kill...just critically wound. I see those I attacked walking about later. I could have killed them, but I showed mercy and let them live. Again, if they hadn't treated me like some wild animal to be trained to sit on command I probably wouldn't be doing these things...No stories of what I've done will go through history, but the rich and powerful will be given credit for stuff they didn't do. Oh how I hate such things. My bags are heavy with stolen goods to be moved by a fence, but they're too busy right now. tomorrow...I feel guilt and such but again. give a man no options and he does drastic things, people should but will never understand that.