king_honeybadgerFeb 24, 2015Feb 24, 2015 at 05:16 PM
#1
Ceylian's Journal
Entry One
I am so very alone. I've not spoken with another in...forever, it seems like.
My skin is still scarred; the war was real. The memories of beyond that are clear up to a point. Thorthil and Elsynia, the hooded Mer granting my desire for power, Elsynia abandoning me...
I was so very angry. Was. I started myself. I remember nothing after that third night of my depression, and it has been...months, it seems.
There were bodies around me where I woke. Corpses. Drained and pale. It was the sun that woke me, the pain from its god rays causing me to writhe as I clawed my way towards the shade, being burned alive by the very thing that used to give me hope at daybreak. The sight of destruction around me, the smell of death, the empty and sucking sounds of the bodies rotting away...I lost my stomach. All that came out was red. I don't know if it was my own inner sickness, or the blood of those I consumed. I am so disgusted. I need help. This power is a trick, a curse, and this may be my only moment of clarity. I will seek a cure at the end of this writing, and I hope that I can still fix this.
Entry Two
I don't know what day it is anymore. How long was the beast in control of my mind? Am I even in control now?
Have I ever been in control?
I am fearful. I have returned to Sren-ja, but it is gone. What I once considered a new home is in ruins. Did I cause this? I...no. I am walking around, and I have found a note nailed to a tree.
It's Elsy's handwriting.
What are these tears? Why does this hurt so much? Why am I shaking so much. I can’t write write right now.
Entry Three
It is night time. I hid under the tree all day long, reading over the note again and again and again. Each time, a different set of emotions came over me. Sadness and loneliness, wanting so badly to go back to how things were. Read it again. Anger and resentment, my hands clenching together as if squeezing around her neck...and then confusion, unexplainable and illogical thought that did nothing to help me.
Now, all I feel is fear. Fear of rejection, fear of the fact that I won't be able to control myself, fear my beastly hunger driving me insane with desire for blood and power...
I tried killing myself, but it didn't work. My body repairs itself too quickly, and starving myself merely leads to turning feral, as I did. I can't approach any town to seek for help. If another tries to kill me, the beast takes over, and they are no sooner like myself after I slip through the shadows and end their mortality.
Elsynia is my only hope. I am going to Vulkwasten.
Entry One
I am so very alone. I've not spoken with another in...forever, it seems like.
My skin is still scarred; the war was real. The memories of beyond that are clear up to a point. Thorthil and Elsynia, the hooded Mer granting my desire for power, Elsynia abandoning me...
I was so very angry. Was. I started myself. I remember nothing after that third night of my depression, and it has been...months, it seems.
There were bodies around me where I woke. Corpses. Drained and pale. It was the sun that woke me, the pain from its god rays causing me to writhe as I clawed my way towards the shade, being burned alive by the very thing that used to give me hope at daybreak. The sight of destruction around me, the smell of death, the empty and sucking sounds of the bodies rotting away...I lost my stomach. All that came out was red. I don't know if it was my own inner sickness, or the blood of those I consumed. I am so disgusted. I need help. This power is a trick, a curse, and this may be my only moment of clarity. I will seek a cure at the end of this writing, and I hope that I can still fix this.
Entry Two
I don't know what day it is anymore. How long was the beast in control of my mind? Am I even in control now?
Have I ever been in control?
I am fearful. I have returned to Sren-ja, but it is gone. What I once considered a new home is in ruins. Did I cause this? I...no. I am walking around, and I have found a note nailed to a tree.
It's Elsy's handwriting.
What are these tears? Why does this hurt so much? Why am I shaking so much. I can’t write write right now.
Entry Three
It is night time. I hid under the tree all day long, reading over the note again and again and again. Each time, a different set of emotions came over me. Sadness and loneliness, wanting so badly to go back to how things were. Read it again. Anger and resentment, my hands clenching together as if squeezing around her neck...and then confusion, unexplainable and illogical thought that did nothing to help me.
Now, all I feel is fear. Fear of rejection, fear of the fact that I won't be able to control myself, fear my beastly hunger driving me insane with desire for blood and power...
I tried killing myself, but it didn't work. My body repairs itself too quickly, and starving myself merely leads to turning feral, as I did. I can't approach any town to seek for help. If another tries to kill me, the beast takes over, and they are no sooner like myself after I slip through the shadows and end their mortality.
Elsynia is my only hope. I am going to Vulkwasten.