Two Great "Friends" Who Slay Daedra (Not Quite SFW)

((Thank you ebonwind for the original idea to play two characters that interact wtih one another and thank you Afer for giving a good way to do it without having a second account+a laptop/good CPU. THIS is not quite SFW due to Niltsiel's and Bragdliins raunchy ways of speaking though there shouldn't be anything in this that is inappropriate it's not something you'd want your boss reading over your shoulder. This probably is a bit more serious than anything Afer has written but it's relatively the same idea. Anywhom, here we go:))

Bragdliin walked into the tavern and saw Niltsiel. With bright eyes he said "Ah, Ruin!" and winked. Niltsiel didn't look up fron her notebook, but stayed leaning on the counter as she wrote. "It's Niltsiel now, please call me something like Niltsy if that's too hard." she said in a rather flat tone.
"Welll you are perky as usual..." Bragdliin's eyes drifted down to her chest wit ha wink.
"Could y-wait..." Niltsy put away her journal and looked up to brag "Gods, Brag! I thought you died."
Brag smirked "I'm not that easy to kill. I was simply hiding from a crazed daedra that killed everyone else we worked with."
"Yeah... I kinda uh, took care of that..." Niltsy sighed and tapped on the bar counter "So uh, what brings you here?"
Brag winks "You of course! I came so we could make love again." he winks again
"We never made love." Niltsy says flatly before standing up
"Not yet." Brag attempted to walk up to her and stroke her cheek but was greeted by a slap on his own instead "Whoa, we aren't even alone yet and your already warming my chee-"
"Shut up."
"Oh, I forgot you liked it q-"
"Shut up."
"Demanding, I like i-"
"Shut. up."
"Alright, alright, I'll be silent, if that's what turn you-" Niltsiel reached into his beard and ripped his sword down, shoving the hilt into his gut. He grabbed his stomach and smirked, winking "Touching my sword in public, I like your style..."
"Alright, I'm done. I thought we had a rule. No flirting with me. Ever." Brag laughed an absurd chuckle "You know I'm only kidding! Gods, what scrunched up your panties! Not me certainly..."
"No, maybe my betrothed did." Niltsiel grabbed him by the beard and dragged him outside
"Oh. I didn't know."
"Obviously." Once outside and a good ways away from the tavern she then said "So uh, why did you sneak into a like uh, quarantined town? You didn't really do that to uh, like um, talk to me, did ya'?"
Brag's eyebrows seemed to have a life of their own, doing weird things all over his face. "Of course I did, you are my last resort, and I have no job at the moment." His sword was still stuck between his beard hole and his gut so he grabbed the guard and threw it back into his beard. The enchantment on his magnificent beard glowed "Thank you again, for suggesting a get a hole, oh how I love holes." He winked yet a get again.
"Have you uh, ever touched a hole other than the one on your beard?" Niltsiel asked with a smirk
"Well uh, TOTALLY!" brag shouted with more enthusiasm than anyone needed, ever, as he winked to her.
"Yeah... I uh, know that's a lie, something you should probably be better at doing."
"You know how I operate, I don't judge you for talking to people the way you do. We do it for a reason. Awkward pe-"
Niltsy interupted him with a sigh "Yes I know, people who are awkward can't keep a secret about themselves and take in all of the secrets around them. Maybe you try to keep them awkward and not RIPPING SWORDS OUT OF YOUR BEARD!"
"Hey, what can i say, I like it rough." Brag winked to her yet again "The things people say out of nowhere when angry with me are the best."
Niltsy thought for a moment "You know who you could get pretty mad..." She looked as though she was plotting some sort of evil master plan
"No, I don't, I hardly know anyone in this town yet." Brag said as though she was asking him, not knowing she was going to tell him
Niltsiel sighed "No you idiot, you don't! There's this bosmer girl, named Lucrezia, and she uh, has seemed to create like, problems I hear, with someone named Hlor, and has been doing things with her friends and like, stuff uh, like that. If you could get her to get mad at you, I'd appreciate it. And that Mal guy, A dunmer with uh, long dreads, I swear they have something uh, goin' on, behind closed doors. Maybe if ya' got them awkward angry and blushing at the same time, you could like, uh, get some information, 'er somethin'."
" Oooo, stuff with her friends.... I like the sound of that, but Niltsy you salty dog, you want me to do something that coni- that's rather easy actually. If I see a bosmer with a large dunmer I'll make sure to get them very mad at me." He winked again. "How is that Afer fellow? you t-"
"Shhh! No, of course not. I already told you why."
"Of course right, that would make sense, all of those very important reasons and such. Have you tri-"
"Of course not! I'm not a horrible person, well uh, not always at least... I mean, I have been paid to do uh, a lot of horrible things..." Her eyes floated down to her feet and brag blinked before replying. "I thought you didn't... do that?"
"I um..." She continued to stare at the ground, not replying to any more of his attempts to flirt with her that continued for an hour or so until he eventually decided she wouldn't answer him... for now.

((I appologizefor any tipose i- holky god. I apologize for any typos, I'm not fixing them though))

((Nilt that evil mastermind! :P ))

((basic fact of Niltsy, she is is quitethe onion, and some layers make ya' cry, others are just delicious, some are starting to rot away, and a few are still growing inside))

(( I smell evil plotting... *Raccoon nose twitch, twirls whiskers*))

"LU AND MAL ARE TOTALLY DOING IT ALL THE TIME." Brag walks up to niltsy proudly
"Yah, I figured, did you uh..." Niltsy trails off
"Of course I hit on both of them, I asked them when they started dating and they became all blushy and awkward and 'we're just friends'y and to top it aaall off, Lu said he was dating Arimani but she's leaving town! She wouldn't do that if she didn't have a reason to leave Mal, or she'd go with him, they've gotta be goin' at it like dogs, that are goin' at it!"
"Who's Arimani?"
"You know, tall altmer lady, really tall. Sexy beast." brag winks
"Sure she is, I think I saw her once or twice though, guess she doesn't look that bad."
They were both by the beach, Niltsiel leaning against the cliff, brag, leaning on his beardsword with a smirk and a twitching eye.
"How have you been, my lover-"
Niltsiel ripped his sword from his beard before he could finish "Again, I have a fiancee."
"Ow! Hey... Afer did that to me earlier! Did you tell hi-"
"You told him I was engaged, TIT for TAT(afergetsit) my friend."
"Oh how I love TATs (hestillgetsit)" Brag winked
Niltsiel sighed "That's one thing I have in common with you... but uh, anything else interesting?"
"Other than all of the great sex! Not really... oh, that Annie girl is soo charming!"
"Heh, I'd be interested if you actually got some ever." looks a bit concerned "Oh no. What did you do to her?"
"Whaaat? why would I do anything to her?" he tried to look overly innocent, his eyelids fluttering madly
"You never have a reason. But uh, explain, please."
"Well, she thought I was seriously into her, and uh, wanted to play doctor.."
"You gave 'er the antler in your pants didn't ya'?" niltsy asks flatly
"You mean did I- oh you are asking why she was gonna be the doctor, yeah. that was the joke at the time."
((to be continued I just didn't feel like finishing this at the moment since eso was frustrating me, couldn't get back into it))

((continuation of the above post))
"Did you then /give/ her the antler?" Niltsiel asked with a concerned look on her face
"no of coruse not! what kind of person do you think I am? I would never do such a thing, I just sound like I would."
"Yes i know you are incapable of sex, simply because you don't want to. Have you ever thought of getting people mad at you in some other way?"
Brag looked at Niltsy for a moment before answering, "I've tried everything you could think of, it's not as easy as you may think to get people mad at you and become friends with them later on. None of it hurts them, it simply offends them. You should know what I mean, you do things like that all the time, you do it for fun, because you're bored-"
"I do it to help people!"
"Help yourself..."
"Brag... you're gonna shut up now."
"Anywho, we didn't do anything, Annie and I. But we are friends, she told me you were her only other friend?"
"Yes, because I help people, like I said." Niltsy looked at him with anger, before turning away "Anything else?"
Brag, not listening to her, said to himself loud enough for her to hear "Maybe I should stay here, not say dirty things as much..."
"What!? I doubt either of those things are happening, especially the last part."
"Hey! I can not be dirty if i want...."
Niltsiel then walks away from him and Bragdliin sits in thought for a while longer.