Bhidul's Journal of Thinky Stuff

4 posts · started by Bhidul on Aug 23, 2015 · 2393 views · in Active Journals & Diaries

BhidulAug 23, 2015

Aug 23, 2015 at 12:16 AM #1

Somewhere lies a dusty journal, inside the first page it has the name written... Bhidul

22nd of Last Seed

Why must it be so hard... everyone aboard is nearly dead, or lying in their own blood. All because of some damn storm... this one only hopes he can get to Vulkwasten in time. No doubt something crazy happened there either... This one will return, but he is not sure about the crew. The fleet was thrown off course, we can't see a damn thing in the fog. Luckily we have healers, but the chances of repairing the ship enough to stay afloat is slim. We took out four fortresses in northern Cyrodiil, and estimated about a thousand kills and a quarter of our own killed. Marines in the Dominion are not so bad fighters... The others in Cyrodiil were captured or killed, this one is only bringing back a brig full of two hundred men from Cyrodiil. Still during our travels we did not find Gata... Perhaps she died when she ran off... ~~as if she cares about anyone... she only cares for herself... why do the memories hurt...~~ It matters not, though. This one may find her one day, and then she will never be searched for again. ~~Or maybe she will come back just to mock him, and burden him with the pain... she is playing a game that his one does not like...~~ He is hoping to see how everyone is doing... maybe he can find a way to skip some missions, because damn... they are insanely annoying... He shall write more the ship needs more fixing...

BhidulAug 24, 2015

Aug 24, 2015 at 01:16 AM #2

23rd of Last Seed

Finally... home at last. This one felt amazing as he hit the shores. The wounded were sent off to healers in Velyn Harbor, and the ship he was on is being repaired in Elsweyr. This one had to repair the holes and scratches in his armor, and the materials needed for it was costly... and he had to mix certain metals just to get the right kind, or else the armor would not be complete. Besides that, this one had a fine time at the harbor. He stayed the night there and made his way to Vulkwasten... He saw nobody at that time, so he decided to put on his light gear and go out hunting and sailing. A bit cloudy, it was, though the time he spent alone felt amazing. After a while, this one met a nice Altmer fellow inside the tavern, the mer serves in the Dominion on the front lines, taking down Dolmens as well. This one took his offers into consideration, the mer offered this one as a helper in his group of men, he believes, to take down Dolmens almost as a profession. The elf left, and Malyne went upstairs with Wadiq... dammit... Daytha (Claws)... and that tall Elros fellow. He told this one to "protect" Lucrezia, and this one took that seriously, though there were not /real/ threats around. She went upstairs and they didn't mind her, but this one overheard her... "Seriously? You left me with Bhidul?" Damn that woman... And then they forced this one away from them, but he respects what they were doing up there, even if they are doing something illegal... Maybe they do not trust him, nobody does. This one... has changed, but... why do they all hate him? Is it his fault how he acts? That this one feels as if his mind is deteriorating, and feels as if he is bruised, falling apart, dying slowly from the inside? It is not, not at all, they should suffer with what he feels, the losses... his wife, his brothers and sisters in combat, the people he could not save, the ones he could not end, the ones he could not love... care for... the ones- Nevermind that... this one will show them one day... he is through with being stomped on and kicked around... and just... sitting there and doing nothing. Perhaps this one is not as humble as some used to think. This one is far from the man... or beast... whatever the Oblivion those men and mer filth call this one... he used to be. This one... wfghwdopwhfi *The rest of the writing trails off into a series of enraged scribbles.*

BhidulAug 25, 2015

Aug 25, 2015 at 03:58 AM #3

A small splatter of blood lies on the top corner of the page.

24th of Last Seed

Drunk... again. Why... because of some young lass who was in the tavern. He feels horrible... he got her drunk to... Taji, was her name... Poor woman... all his fault, all of it. This one will make up for it, he promises. Promises... this one promised to stay at his wife's side... but he could not keep that. Everything is his fault. If he had not joined the military, his mind would not be tearing apart. The old days... Back in S'ren-Ja before it became nothing but a cursed hole of no-good whores... This one could be doing the things he loved best... Serving a purpose to the town everyday... not pissing people off whenever they look upon him... Dark moons... what kind of hell is he living in? What would his mother think of him at this time? Or his father? Father... father is a liar... traitor to this one. He will find that worm one day... and send his worthless self screaming back to Oblivion. That will be the day... same thing when he finds that man who carried out his deeds... That man... Nabah... Some damn bandit 'king' who leads his men to all sorts of cruel acts... They killed his mother when he was young... under his father's word... Mother died because of them... and this one will bring them back the same. He ran into that man today. Tried to kill him, but he was taken from all directions. The man brought ten other bandits with him... and they were not the cloth-wearing savages he thought of... They struck at once, only managing to stab through his armor a few times... This one fell... off a cliff and they left him... This one woke up not that long ago... This one though that explaining his past would be best if someone finds this journal... if he dies here. He will make his way to a city soon, and get his shit together after that... He is through with the troubles he has been living with... The man who ruined his life must be ended soon...

BhidulSep 07, 2015

Sep 07, 2015 at 09:48 PM #4

7th of Heartfire

Again... drunk... woke up in some Bosmer's farming field with a smashed bottle in his hand... This one suspects he went out to look for her again... Ever since the night Eranor mentioned this one not seeing his wife. And speaking of the mer, he is having a relationship with Hloriella, of all people... This one hopes that woman does not end up breaking his heart... This one's memory is still fuzzy from that night. He did not seem to be all happy as he usually is when he is drunk. This one just felt anger, rage, and jealousy take over. He began ranting about how his life was horrible, and how it was unfair. Unfair that this one could not see the only one he loves. At least he has the children. Perhaps he can settle in Vulkwasten, for all he does is walk on it's soil every day. Maybe he will make his life less mundane... and stop thinking of the pain. Move on. Get it over with like a real man. This one recently found traces of the man who killed his parents, the bandit. This one asked a group of Bosmer mercenaries on the road to Vulkwasten, the mercenaries claiming to be experienced in "Bandit hunting". As this one brought up the name, it was clear they too knew who this bandit was. The mercenaries said that the scumbag is moving westward, hoping to make it to the harbor and sail to Auridon with whatever he had plundered. This one will sail after sooner or later... but this one needs to see what kind of work he can do with the Kog- *Scribbled out words follow after.* This one needs to find what kind of work he can do for some friends of his. Then this one will hunt the bastard down, and achieve the vengeance and blood he has long waited for...