Writings of Hloriella (Prolly nsfw)

Since returning to the village on trips, I have reaffirmed my hatred for it. 'Oh, Hloriella, what of the charm of the forest? The green of the jungle, the tang of the local meats?' F'leh! If charm is considered shoeing away flesh flies and beetles the size of my fist, or if taste is something unimportant in food or the local drink perhaps. The hunting here is good enough. Lots of pelts. I fucking can't wait to quit hunting.

I swore up and down to be rid of the jungle, yet here I am. Back. It does not matter. Few people in the village know my face nowadays. I suppose it could be worse. I do wonder if Reliza is still pissed at me? I wonder if I can dare him to shave his head. Things have been far too dull lately. Or perhaps that is just because I have been away? Lu's hair seems to be growing back.

I have not see the Not-Nord woman drunk on my visits. Would be a shame if she gave up such a vice. Though, finding oneself hopping and running around naked like a drunk fool might be enough to turn some away. Some.

I keep hearing rumors of a guard in the village who weeps a lot. First I thought Fedris but, no, he has only just signed back up. I should ask some of these new faces.

I grow curious. And bored. And this stupid slobbering wet nosed thing won't stop staring at me.

I was right.

The rumors that is. I found the one with leaking eyes. A Short One he is, was shocked to see such a little thing in heavy armor. Perhaps there is more to him? His voice sounded like that of that helmed bosmer I met...what was that name.

But on point. His tears are for the death of a lover by what else but a vampire. A vampire. Not expected and certainly not welcomed. I fear connections. The Short One seems capable of fighting his own battles but some woman went to protect him. If only my words could actually kill. Should not the situation be reversed? What guard needs guarding? This woman, I am curious. Whatever the case, the Short One needs his flesh to harden like the metal he wears, otherwise, a snake might just slither by, pluck him into her mouth.


Foolish Lucrezia and the Not Nord woman Kashya. I hope this is not the last thing I every write. We are going to Reapers March to look for someone. I know that bastard did not take Afer's life, so that is one vampire off the list. I must be mad to trust his word, yet his word rings more truth than even my own husbands. I look to my hand and fear that once was is again.

Stupid Lucrezia and her stupid mouth. Stupid Malaki.

I will go throw rocks into the water instead.

This-
*The page seems to be covered in angry scribbles and even some breaks in the paper itself*

-STUPID INK!

Pissed.

I am not pleased. I hate when people keep things from me. Cameron interests me and says things that interest me. If he is right, then I will be even more pissed by days end. Nevermind that. That is not for ink. Most charming stalker.

Lu is pissed at me for some reason. No idea what I did. Honestly none. She must be going crazy or something. Was drunk and she just stormed out with all her shit.

---

The village was shouting a lot again, what about I do not know. Something about how tacky the Guards uniform is. Or was it the Fighter's guild?

Went to go spy on Lu for a laugh, she seems to be clawing up the leg of fresh meat every day. Good for her. Perhaps she will even land something that does not have a wedding ring?

The most hideous dunmer woman approached me and dared to suggest she was me from the future. She then went on about how her thighs were better than mine! She must have caked on all her makeup to hide her gross skin. As if I would ever let myself get that fat. She could not even touch her toes! Oh but she tried. Tore her pants doing so! Have not laughed so hard in a while. Some tall rude altmer working for Patches said somethings. I do not really remember what. I am sure they were stupid.

I do hope to see that thing again.

Found Lu pickled like an egg. Carried the damn fool to the Fighter's Guild entrance. It is safe there. Weird going in though. No, won't go inside.

I wonder if she will even remember that she fought a man drunk and lived.

I confronted Cameron. It did not go so well.
Cameron yelled loudly at me, he is frightened when he is mad. I feel for him for what happened, but he dares blame me? I had nothing to do with any of this! Now he foolishly believes he can challenge Malaki, he aims to take control of the pack completely. What if he looses? I do not want him hurt, I only just met him!

Or worse, what if he is to win this? I do not want to think about this.

---

FUCKING HELL.

It is gone, gone! Lucrezia's house is but ashes now! We must have disrupted some fuckers who were poking around in there. One got me on the cheek good but maybe he is dead now. I like to think he is dead. I have never been in a fire before. My nose, it still burns even as I write this, my skin still stings and is wet with new skin. How did we escape such a situation? That mother fucking goat saved us. Again.

He pulled us both to the door at least. If I had not grabbed his horn I fear I'd be a pile of roast bones by now. I should buy him a new fish. That should make us even.

How could he! A father, a husband, just walk out like that?! Does nothing else matter to that man but being the strongest? I can't believe this, any of it! I feel ill, so ill. What is going to happen to us now? What is going to happen to our family? I thought this stupid challenge Cameron wanted was just some sort of pissing match, I did not know it would truly make him alpha! I did not know Malaki could even lose, he has never lost!

I do not know what to do now. How could he just leave? That stupid fucking pride of his does he not know I need him?! Does he think Strength is all I need, all this family needs?

I am so confused.

What to do
What to do

I left for a few days, get my head straight but now I feel an itch I can not scratch. I must return to Cole tonight. Somehow I must hide the scent from Cameron.

Cameron. What am I to do with that one. Lu says I should jump his bones, a primal part of me is dying too. I love Malaki, but how do I deal with someone I am bound to AND not sleeping with?! I wish he just never entered our lives! Gods, Malaki...come home and keep me from doing foolish things. Where the fuck are you?

It is out of me.

The sickness of addiction. The Tigress said to me things that blacken tongues to speak of. Of her love life, I can not involve myself, I have enough of my own troubles there. I will throw stones from afar. Some good news she shared though, Emelia might be coming home to me!

I am a good fucking mother. I will fucking prove it. I will know where she is always and never leave her alone as I get high or drunk again. I even got a job! A good one, nothing that is stupid or requires a lot of work. I think I can stop selling these damn pelts and skins now, they smell worse than Malaki did when we met.

So the job. A place called the Rose Garden that smells of the sea cove. I can be myself as I serve drunkards piss in a mug and even sway my hips for fun. Has been a long time since I danced just for fun. Or sober.

My coworkers are weird as fuck though. A dunmer jester, a walking suit of armor, and my boss...who pissed herself. So too are the patrons actually.

I feel good about this. Now how do I tell Malaki and Cameron?

Once more I worked this new job.

No killing or skinning or running. Drinking and only mildly sickening laughter surrounds. Jolly fools as they are, I feel more welcome in the Rose Garden. No pretense of kindness required.

Many sad souls.

Patches was more a Bird than I thought, the whimsy of the flute was easy to dance to. I will not hit him.
Wren took to booze as if it were air. What delicious pain does she try to poison?
One of the Bouncers, Heavy Armored man, hides well under all that metal. Sweet enough to walk me out. Would have offered for him to escort me home, then I remembered the badness. What secrets are there though, Metal Man?

It is dark.

How did my mother do it?
I know now what kind of crazy bitch birthed Kana, and she knows where Afer now lives. I got a few good hits in her face, stupid cow, but her words I can not drink away. I decided to take Emelia and move in with my father for now. At least Lucrezia's mother is not a bitch.

Also, I have to wonder, what kind of lunatic rips out their own eyes?!

Today did not suck.

Took Emelia to the beach and she caught her first pound of seaweed. Lost one shoe. Did a damn fine job of getting filthy
The Skooma khajiit was there, honestly thought she would have died in that cell or something. She looked happy with some male.

A stupid bug bit me. Oh, a co-worker kissed me. Got a good hit though. Slapped their face into oblivion. He is cute but plays a dangerous game. I squashed the bug.


---

Dammit.

My time alone has not lasted long. I do not know why I listen or how he does it, but Malaki wants me home. With him, specifically. If I am not with him I must be with Cameron. Does he really think I would cheat on him? Okay, it had crossed my mind a few times but only as a passing fancy! I think.

I am tired of being angry with him. Perhaps he has changed as he says. I trust him, that is all that matters. He looks better too.

He promised to seek out a skilled mage. They will find nothing, a bluff, a superstition I hope.

Never have I felt so safe behind these walls.

Village was prey to slavers, I heard they even took a guard. Meek little thing.
Some fools mentioned it at work. Scared Ta' out of her scales for a good hour. Bastards. They say it was Sadri, the Fool, the Jester. If all is true, we shall peel his face from his skull.

Guard is weak again. I can smell it. Frenzied desperation. Sour fears. First time I have seen anyone in uniform in a long while. No wonder my brother nearly died.

Little Reliza. A mouse dressed up like a cat. I fear for him. Wren would chew off her own tail had she one. Maybe they ate the other guards?

I know things but I shall speak them to where it will matter.

Afer is an idiot. Who the fuck keeps a bear? No, that handsome orc does. Pirate did...Pirate was a fool though. You do not tame bears, not without a little 'help'. He seeks to understand it. I should push him to Wren or Ter for help, though Wren may be filled with rabies.

Still.

Old one and Young One, I should tell them of my efforts. They cannot be that mad.

One of them is dead.

I did not do it. I wished to, but it was not me. His skin peeled with more ease than I remember.

They can never know.


I feel strange.

Some weird shit has been going on.

Fog that creeps into our minds. Illusion magics. Bad things.
Not sure why I did not see such an obvious trick, but it took me longer than usual to snap out of it. We all saw things in the water, some could not handle it. Handle the lies before them. Or perhaps they chose not to bother resisting?

Malaki looked so happy. The Wild Kitten, Varr, Lu, and some other chick killed it, but Lu seemed too happy about it. I know she hates him, but, wait...would he be as happy to kill her? Probably. I stabbed the stranger who Lu saw, I did not recognize him, or the others.

I have not asked Malaki about the mage again. With all this other crap, how can I? Maybe it was nothing. Maybe nothing will happen.

The Jail Cat is back, sans one leg. Did she eat it? Sell it for drugs? The Wild Kitten does not approve, looked very pissed.

I am curious.

He wears white robes.

Why? How the hell does he keep them so white?

Went on a boat trip, it is not so terrible so far. I even picked some flowers for Emelia. Meet a local who was skittish like a tattooed lamb, adorable.

I believe Kashya possibly took fucking drugs.

Do not know if the Blind Man can help me, should he?
I do not want to cut my hand off.

Eyes and ears of strangers are on us. Someone is not to be trusted.

I hope they see the finger I give them.

Fucking fog.

It has returned, but it whispers nothing to me.

The Blind One has been both a stab to the heart and a warm embrace of hope. He knows curses, but part of me wishes he was full of shit. Had I not seem his skills with my own eyes, I would choose to believe my own lies in the matter. But I have and I can not.

Considered telling Afer but his stupid face made me mad.

Terath is a face of lies it seems. And missing. Possibly dead. He will wish he was dead if what Tal spoke of is true. The Tigress took me, Tal, and the Quick Khajiit...Storm. Afer took the Kitten, some hot Orc chick, another Khajiit and some other person. There may have been others. I was not paying attention.

Afer did not want my help. Foolish turnip headed fool. I only lived in those deserts, but what do I know? I hope he sat on a scorpion.

We found concerning things in Ter's home and no wolves.
The wolves returned to the Village when we did. One came only to die. Moon. It did not die alone or on strange lands, but it still died.

A great hunter reduced to a crumbled broken body. Glossy eyes took once vibrant ones. Teeth that shall never know flesh again. A still heart that will never know warmth.

I was afraid.

A cruel mirror of my fate.

Terath is dead
Terath is home

It tried to get to me, get to us all. Claw it's way inside. For once I am grateful for the knowledge of illusion. Did nothing against the blades that were not in my head, though. Someone lost a finger. We could not see, speak, or hear. Hits too close. Way too close.

So many came to his aid with little promise of success. Two fuck heads started an argument when we made the final call.

How Peg Leg is alive I do not know. She should be dead several times over.
The Blind One seemed at ease, even when senses were stolen. Well. He can't see shit anyway. His skin is cold.

Afer thought I was bothered by the whispers. I could not tell him the truth.

Much has happened.

A Fat Rat escaped. Soon it's head will be ours. Peeled back, screaming, exposed.

I have met two werewolf hunters. The mute bosmer and a dunmer man. The Mute I have met before, Afer's shadow. They know what they are doing, not foolish hunters who drag themselves back half dead and infected. Good to see some people with heads filled with things other than scuttle.

His taste is questionable, but comberry brandy he enjoys. She is quiet. Silent eyes. Eyes of a killer.

What fools will they bring to sell me as pelts?

I believe the Tigress has lost her mind. The void of her mother's chest took her sanity. Old One suspects the breton. He underestimates her stability.

things are quiet.

Not the dead kind of quiet.

Bash has left. He returned my camel to me, of all things. It spit on me. I missed the damn thing. I swear I thought it was dead. Who fucking knew?

Little Reliza is another year older. Still a child as ever. Went out of my way to find him a stupid colored bird and some fat lizard must have snuck in the cage. Bird got eaten but I do not think Reliza noticed as he seemed to love the thing.

Oh fuck her.

FUCK her.

I am going to beat the ever living crap out of that sentient sewer-furred, rat-vomit, hairball. Deformed one legged walking disaster!
-Unreadable scribbles fill most of the page-

He is dead.

He was murdered.

The last word that left his lips was love. Old One is gone and Cameron is dead.

I am scared and have we have no leader. Father can’t lead, Emelia is too young. I don’t want to leave my bedroom. The shadows now harbor snakes and nightmares and he is coming.

I have not seen Lu in weeks but I think she is not dead.

I need to think. Ancestors, help us.

The damn welwa I had died. Stupid shit it was. It turned on me, so I gave it a whack on the head. Guess I hit it a little too hard. Oh well, at least it’s fur will look lovely as a hat.

This means I will need a new hunting companion soon, one that I can better manage.

Stupid dumb bitch.
Bittergreen should just shed her bones of her ugly ass skin.

I miss him. He would have punched her out for me...Banned Alena. I do not wish to see her ugly ass face after that.

Got the lamp for the surprise. Why do I even bother though? It is not like he cares. Or that I care. Its good for buisness, ya. That's true.

Dunmer peddler selling them is tolerable, for a dunmer man. Fool gave me some Musk, but even I can not deny it smelled magnificent on him.

I forgot I had kept this.

I awoke from my drunken stupor and noticed that I was growing short on coin. Ever since getting that letter from Andur, I’ve been sucking the bottom of bottles. Cesare was there sometimes, but when he is not, I fear he has died. He has not, thankfully. But the fear is always there.

The nightmares do not cease. Since I have not the money to buy more alcohol, I’ve been forced to take up work again in the nearby town. It feels strange being there without my Merc Hall, but I can not even consider running that without him at my side.

He is probably dead anyway.

Like Alena’s damn frog. Who the hell keeps frogs as pets anyway? Best sober the fuck up though. I am a guard. Again. As long as I last enough to make something bribes or salary, I should be fine. Guard shit was always Fedris’s game, not mine. This fucking knee problem is going to slow me down.

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Camel is still alive which is nothing short of a miracle. Who knew Bittergreen did not like the taste of Camel meat?