Bardic Rambles (Kazato'Dar)

    [ Many questions have always ran through my head.. My mind has always plagued me. Finally decided to keep my thoughts away.. Here. Someone dear to me was lost very early in my life, the question that repeats itself more so than any other…  if the choice had been placed in my hands could he have saved her? The memory has haunted me my entire life.. And more so these last few years than Kaz could have ever imagined and now.. And now thanks to the events of the past few months he is sure.. That he would of made those sacrifices himself.
    Many disagree with my choices of life, and he is sure many more will as time goes on.. But you see, he learned all his songs from his childhood torments but what no one sees. Is the reasons we do what we do, many of us spend our lives walking the edge of love, the edge of the law, even the edge of life itself.. But for all three of these things one thing is constant.. There is no love greater than that we see for those we’d die for. There is no laws against the torment we bring upon ourselves for that great love.. And there is no life to be lived with anything but ourselves guiding our paths to find that love. ]
 
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    Ahh here we are after all, back in the hidden pages of your bindings little book? Seems kaz has ripped out all the others he wrote before, after all they are over with he doesn't need them anymore. Now he sits here in the candlelight and writes once again for why? Kaz does not truly know for why at this point in his life, he is happy is he not? Kaz doesn't know truly but he thinks he is or very close maybe to giving up his past life's troubles and pains. He’s still out finding new lands and new people meeting many new creatures and sights with a smile and a note. The songs still flow through him like a river in the Marsh. Gods above.. It feels like he is talking to himself again when writing this down.. Is he? Maybe.
  
  It seems he is content to ramble about himself in these pages, maybe one should talk of the new place he frequents? How do you spell… Vulkwasten? Malabal Tor? Whatever this place is hidden deep in the great bosmeri jungles it is comforting to be here every now and again. The people are generous and the coin is easy to come by, not many other bards from what Kaz can see or tell either.. But.. The woods.. They seem to be plagued here by all sorts of dangerous creatures the town itself is on edge most of the time. But yet he still returns, he was told to stop seeking trouble in these places, but what a terrible life that sounds like, to not seek trouble.

Kaz has seen many things in his travels.. But.. Not that.. ......

*Bunch of stuff scribbled out here*

Anyway, it seems the Abah's has finally taken the ship.. Which means its in port and not lost at sea, this word comes from a trusty source or Kaz would not have waisted time on hope. Yet he says its to be there within the day which means Kaz must act fast so he sent out word. Hope he isnt pulling at inivisble strands of dreams here yes? If he can truly get there and to the papers... This will save him alot of trouble, only issue... How does one board a ship guarded by A.L. soldiers... That's where she will come in.

*in a different ink*
HA! We got on board without a sense of danger, almost to easy... Now the fun begins, he found it, the map to his brothers gold the books that will lead him there... except one is missing.. will have to find it if he wishes to find anything of value first..
We may also soon have a key to finding his brother..

Kaz has not wrote in this much as his friend suggested he should.. Maybe it's because his thoughts don't come in as clear these days as the music does. Hes wrote more songs lately than in here and some say writing music is hard, HA! Obviously they have never open’d their minds to the tune of Nirni she sings to one's soul if one listens close enough. But even as kaz can hear her music bright as day light some say they think he is hearing the the lute strings gone to his head most say. Yet this one knows the gods are real, for he hears Nirni playing music for him.. And one day he to shall return to join them in their grand ballet.


    But that day is unknown what is known is he is alive still and going to be a father.. Who would have ever guess’d that? Not this one thats for sure. He oddly isn't worried at all, they have one of the best loving and caring khajiiti they could ever ask for for a mother. Even if one finds himself an early grave he knows she will take care of them, her and her soon to be wife. Ahh yes her wife, ones kids will be raised by that of another family entirely yes? So why does he even say he is going to be a father? He is more of a.. Drifting lyric that brought happiness during the moment but truly didn't fit into the song. So it was pushed out for another time, to be forgotten till then.    


    Sadly that is his life though, It is Brothers life as well too it seems. We had a long talk that day about life and the past.. It was the first time he said -her- name out loud since he lost her.. It felt good.. One will never be able to thank him enough.. Or the jester, Sadri? Was it? He can sing and is filled with joy! Not to long ago we laughed and drank and sang songs of his homeland in the tavern before Kaz set off.. There are many O people here in this small woods town that have grown on one.. But he isnt sure how much longer he will be allowed to stay..