Ganan's Notes

A small, leatherbound journal small enough to fit into his pocket is among Ganan's personal belongings. A thin stick of charcoal is squeezed into the spine of the journal.

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I totally lost the font to this journal. It'll be aight.

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Morndas; 28th of Last Seed: 2E585

They don't like me. They REALLY don't fucking LIKE me. I don't Know WHAT I can do. This is horrible and I can't figure out what but THEY LoVE me. Calm down. Calm. Scribble. Scribble. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Just relax. Ganan. Ganan. Ganan. Ganan.

They're all gone. They're all dead. And I CAN'T do anything because they're GONE. I nEED

Stop, stop. Calm. Fuck, fuck, fuck. It'll be alright.

Ganan. Ganan. Ganan.

I brought a smile to some girl's face today. It was great. She looked like RELIA. Relia, god, DAMNIT. I miss you, and Elrio. And Sara. They're dead, they're dead, they're dead. I COULDN'T save them. I could never

I'm a fucking nota hero

a hero doesn't

I miss you so much

The house is empty and I ran and I can't I can't kill I can't I miss Relia and she told me not to but I WANT to but I can't so I just want to be on my own for now and not see people but now I do. Gods don't exist because they wouldn't be so merciless and I am the only thing that exists around me and I want to make a place for everyone to be happy

NOBODY should feel this I hATE this

Fredas; 1st of Hearthfire: 2E585

I'm a joke.

Shit. I'm such an ass. No, no. I'm a hero. Right? Fuck. FUCK. I need to rethink my priorities. I want everyone to be happy. But I'm a joke but I'm a joke

Ganan Ganan Ganan.

Shit. Shit. Priorities. What's Ganan want? What do I want? What do I want? What does Ganan want? Antlers thought I was flirting with her. Shit. Junia, Junia. That was her name. Thought I was trying to act "suave" and bed her? Junia, there are things I wish I could say. But FUCK. I'm too GODDAMN PROUD to say them out loud. I DON'T WANT HER. I'm married. Was...married? I just want someone to

I want Relia, and I want Sara back

why do people think I want to bed everyone?
Shit...it's because of the bragging. Of course.

I can't get better, I can never get better

They say that alcohol can ease these feelings, but I can't fall to that
I have to be a hero and keep helping people
Even if that means a fuck ton of trial and error

They might be gone, but that doesn't mean there aren't other people who need help