SibbieAug 16, 2017Aug 16, 2017 at 05:29 PM
#1
((OOC: It is my goal to avoid going too far into NSFW by using clever word choice. I will link to NSFW if it becomes impossible. If anything seems to cross the line please let me know.))
Within Eina's belongings exists a single, solitary notebook constructed of tooled black leather. Runes have been hand carved into the soft hide in a very precise pattern. To the wizened eye, it was a physical representation of the magical anchor that the privacy cantrip held onto. Anyone seeking to open the book without nullifying, or disrupting the Cantrip would be met with pages upon pages of naughty bits, instead of actual words.
If one actually manages to bypass the magic on the book, the actual contents appear to use fake names, innuendo or alternate phrases in the entries. It is also written entirely in Bosmeri.
Entry I
Dearest Diary Thief,
By Mara's bountiful bosom! You cracked my warding spell. Tricky, tricky! Congratulations you inconsiderate skeever-loving dipstick. Good luck reading past this page though, you greedy swine! I bet your mother stank of Rotmeth and bad decisions.
This is not meant for you to see and if you think by stealing it, you're getting MY information for -free-. You are in for a rude awakening. Only I know the secrets here and you just wasted your time getting your hands on something that is worthless without the cypher. By the way, it starts singing Red Diamond loudly five minutes after you trip the alarm. An old friend taught me that trick, used his own voice too.
I reckon if you read fast, you got two minutes.. Slow, you got thirty-seconds give or take a few before his baritone starts letting everyone know what you've got in your hands.
I hope you enjoy the song. It's always getting stuck in my head. Maybe you'll be humming it when you get caught. In case you've forgotten, you're a no good diary-thieving guar turd. I hope whomever you stole this for gives you the beating you deserve over how worthless this is. Because you're not going to get the dirt without me. Trust me, the dirt is worth it but only when you know what's dirt and what's not.
May Nixad's throw rocks at your nethers when you pee.
Hugs and Kisses,
E. Honeypetal
Within Eina's belongings exists a single, solitary notebook constructed of tooled black leather. Runes have been hand carved into the soft hide in a very precise pattern. To the wizened eye, it was a physical representation of the magical anchor that the privacy cantrip held onto. Anyone seeking to open the book without nullifying, or disrupting the Cantrip would be met with pages upon pages of naughty bits, instead of actual words.
If one actually manages to bypass the magic on the book, the actual contents appear to use fake names, innuendo or alternate phrases in the entries. It is also written entirely in Bosmeri.
Entry I
Dearest Diary Thief,
By Mara's bountiful bosom! You cracked my warding spell. Tricky, tricky! Congratulations you inconsiderate skeever-loving dipstick. Good luck reading past this page though, you greedy swine! I bet your mother stank of Rotmeth and bad decisions.
This is not meant for you to see and if you think by stealing it, you're getting MY information for -free-. You are in for a rude awakening. Only I know the secrets here and you just wasted your time getting your hands on something that is worthless without the cypher. By the way, it starts singing Red Diamond loudly five minutes after you trip the alarm. An old friend taught me that trick, used his own voice too.
I reckon if you read fast, you got two minutes.. Slow, you got thirty-seconds give or take a few before his baritone starts letting everyone know what you've got in your hands.
I hope you enjoy the song. It's always getting stuck in my head. Maybe you'll be humming it when you get caught. In case you've forgotten, you're a no good diary-thieving guar turd. I hope whomever you stole this for gives you the beating you deserve over how worthless this is. Because you're not going to get the dirt without me. Trust me, the dirt is worth it but only when you know what's dirt and what's not.
May Nixad's throw rocks at your nethers when you pee.
Hugs and Kisses,
E. Honeypetal