A Jester's Thoughts - The Journal of Sadri

In Sadri's cart next to some juggling equipment you find a book with a black a gold motley colored patterned cover. A small bell hangs off the top of the book's spine.


17th of Last Seed,

I find it funny that I'm the new one to this town, Vulkwasten, and already I can tell that I'm not the only 'weird' one. Why is that funny? Because I'm a jester and whatever I say is supposed to funny right? Wrong. Though it's supposed to be right I think. Does that make sense? Doubt it. Hardly makes sense to me either. I suppose what I'm trying to say is...I know I have a bad sense of humor.

There. I admitted my darkest secret. Suppose I can just close this book and walk away forever.

And yet I know there is more to write about. For posterity or whatever that excuse is people use to talk about their lives in annoying detail. I bet you're wondering by now why be a jester if I'm not funny. Because I find the very notion of one of the brightest minds of Morrowind being dressed like a fool to be hilarious. Don't get the joke? Too bad. Dunmer humor (Yeah I find the very notion laughable too) is always bitchy so apologies to anyone who is reading this and thinks it comes across as rude. I've had a rough life. Temple certainly didn't help. Uncle Sheo showed me that well enough. He opened my eyes and filled me with purpose. My purpose now is to serve him in all his manic whims. I say manic because I may be 'mad' (I currently find the condition of my sanity debatable) but I'm not demented. I'm not going to as Uncle Sheo puts it "RIp out someone's intestines and skip rope with them". 'Madness' has not robbed me of my moral compass. If anything it has shown me a new way of thinking that can appear illogical to those without the proper vision but in truth be quite sound.

Unfortunately that is not the case for some of my fellow followers. Uncle Sheo gave them the darker side of his gift as is his divine right...But dropping a human heart in the middle of the tavern? Monstrous. Scared the shite out of some f'lahs who were visiting today. Must've scared me pretty bad too because after I added that hist tree sap to my drink I blacked out and woke up face down in the middle of the street in the small hours of the morning. Or maybe I was just high off my ass and overdosed. Haven't done that in decades. I'm not even sure if that person was a follower of Uncle Sheo but their actions seemed illogical enough to me.

Speaking of being high I found a new dealer of hallucinogens yesterday...albeit by accident. The mer(?) gave me some bacon that contained large amounts of moonsugar and I shared it with my new friend Terrance (I'll talk about him later on). We both tripped balls on that stuff. I saw Terrance as my angelfish son and in command of a fleet of dolphins flying through the sky. I don't even have a son so I have no idea where that imagery came from...but that's the point of hallucinogenics isn't it? To bring out the unpredictability of the mind that Uncle Sheo strives for us all to reach. Anyways I talked to the mer(?) again today and it turns out he sells the stuff. Should bring me a new more potent batch tomorrow.

Now on to Terrance. He's lived a tragic past but I won't write about it because he asked me not to talk about it with anyone. That includes you, person who has invaded my cart and is reading my journal. Say goodbye to your sanity. The enchantments on this book should be making you a subject of Uncle Sheo right about...now. Welcome to your new life! There's cheese and jester tunics in the back. Help yourself. Anyways back to Terrance. I tried to give him advice about not comparing his present self to his past self but I'm not sure if it stuck thanks to the memory wipe spell he did on himself. I suppose only time will tell.

Time for another hit of hist sap.

23rd of Last Seed,

Where to begin this time? I think I'll go with judgmental complaining.

The angst in this town is ridiculous and not in the fun way. I've only been here a week or so and already I can tell everybody is 'wearing a mask'. Some people both figuratively and literally like Terrance. The s'wit blinded himself in some attempt to 'see what those with eyes can not'. I suppose in a way he did just that. Now he can see truly nothing. Can't even see the inside of his eyelids...Perhaps this is the beginning of the Mad God's blessing for him. Not sure how to feel about that. On the one hand I look forward to seeing another enter my lord's domain. On the other I don't think Terrance would last very long. His oncoming madness seems to be the type that can only lead to the Hill of Suicides.

Should I intervene? I do have a way with the insane....but Terrance is proving difficult to reach. I have to wonder if he's like the mudcrab from 'Almalexia and the Mudcrab'. He can't be truly helped because he won't let anyone help him. I actually gave that book to a khajiit in the town square today who refused to be cheered up. Now that I think about it I am technically a maniac. I say technically because I still have far too much coherent thought going on to be a full madman. I can help him stay sane if he's threatening to fall into Dementia which I think he is. But how would I even go about this?...Baby steps Sadri...

On the lighter side I think I rocked my job interview at the Rose Garden! Usil made me game master and I spun a very mean roulette wheel. The house got a lot of money and nobody cheated! Then again you can't really cheat at roulette and get away with it anyways. Did have some fists thrown at the end of the night but it was nothing serious. The Rose Garden actually reminds me of my Sanguine cultist days...

I met with Rasad up in the infirmary. Thinks he's mad because he can't see. He's not. Just thinks he is....then again delusions are a form of madness so maybe he is mad. Either way I got kicked out of the infirmary by the guard. Didn't do anything wrong. The local healer just didn't want Terrance and I to be there. It probably has something to do with Terrance slipping Rasad alcohol the last time he was up there. Doesn't really make much sense why they would be mad at him for that since alcohol is a good pain killer but I wasn't in the mood to argue with the Major since he still seems to be mad that I threw a pie in his face.

That's right! I threw a pie in his face. Fetcher deserved it after trying to enter my recipe for blackberry tarts in a contest against me. Did I go over board? Perhaps. The penalty was laughable. One hundred gold fine. Payed it off completely out of pocket. Pie in the face isn't assault so what were they going to do?

Also I visited an auction and bought lots of things imported from Morrowind. I seem to be one of the wealthier people in town. Only question is where will I put this stuff? Guess it will just have to sit here in my cart till I rent out a house down here or something.

Maybe I'll do that bacon that Kibary gave me tomorrow. And maybe some cheese. Who knows?

7th of Hearthfire,

I had a nice week out in the woods. Decided to have some 'me' time and frolic. Threw off my clothes, ran into the woods with some cheese in my bag, and danced among the butterflies and flowers. Was having a great time too! But I have my jesterly duties to get back to. People to drive insane...people to make sane again. Whatever is the Mad God's will. Or mine. Usually it's mine but if the Mad God doesn't want me to do something then I won't do it...

What am I writing about anyways? Seems to be one of my usual zealous rambles. Time to get back to business. The business being what to do with Terrance. He showed me those orb things last week and I know now that they are not just for decoration. They're his little 'friends'. I say 'friends' because I'm not sure if they have Terrance's best interests in mind. I need to learn more about them.

I wonder what Rasad is up to. Probably still struggling with the multiple personalities he has. Or he's gone full psychotic and gone on a murderous rampage. Who knows? From what I've seen of that town the chances of someone doing that are rather high. My money is on Major Seriduril. He strikes me as the ticking time bomb sort...Well it's more likely going to be Terrance if I can't get a grasp on what's going on with him. Mad god give me...I don't know. Just give me what I need here.

This entry is written in a different hand. The writing is in flowing cursive and in an ancient dialect of Cyrod.

I know not what day it is. Time had little meaning to me in my prison. It appears to be sometime in early autumn judging by the changing color of the leaves on the trees across the Strid. I find my new body to be quite curious. How strange to be a man in life and now be a dark elf in death. The jester who formerly inhabited this body kept it in quite great condition. I am thankful to him for that and the power his name and title has given me. To think a dunmer lord was hiding as a jester this whole time in a small backwater in Valenwood. I agree with what he wrote earlier in this journal. It is funny.

I shouldn't say hiding though. His memories tell me that he found the court life stressful and fled as far from it as he could. His loss and my gain. I shall return to Morrowind under this guise and rebuild my power base. But first I shall catch some slaves. A new era is coming and Orion shall be the one reigning supreme.