Dalea's Scattered Thoughts

Since joining the mages guild in Vulkwasten I have been able to actually see improvement with my spells. It is so great! Vulkwasten is quite the walk but that does not bug me. At least there are new faces there; everyone back in Silvenar are so boring. Whenever I step foot into Vulkwasten, I am meeting someone new or there is some crazy adventure going on!

The walk to Vulkwasten feels so long. It feels like it takes days, especially if it happens to get dark and stormy. But the days full of sunshine are relaxing. When it is nasty weather, I get nervous walking alone, so I try to hurry. Of course, I keep going back to that little town even though it is out of the way. There are such interesting people to meet there. One evening, someone actually bought me jerky. Another that I talked to says he has a fort!

I was able to go on an expedition with the guild. We swam out to a shipwreck and then an island and found some neat things! I do not remember why we were looking in that area for things. There were ruins on the island and this argonian and I found a great stone door. It sounded like there was something trapped in there! But the Magister said we could not go in! I really hope whatever is in there does not die. But it could have been a monster too! Miss Magister said we could at least tell an authority when we get back to the city. So I did. They better go out and do something.

I barely made it into Vulkwasten before the Mages Guild left for another adventure! But sadly, it did not feel like that a grand adventure. It was freezing, and everything was white and frozen. I am sure that my ears will fall off. And then I will have short ears and they will not poke out of my hair anymore. Would the other mer make fun of me if I had short ears? I hope not.

I am watching my hand shake as I write this. There were vampires in the tavern tonight! Vampire children! I knew there were such monsters out there but I wished to never see one myself, only to hear about them in stories. I could not do anything but just stand there, out of the way. I was useless. Thankfully, there were other people around that finally killed the nasty monsters. But Gods, the rest of my night was horrible. By the time I slipped into my room I still did not feel like I calmed down. I really wished I was home and not in that infested tavern but there was no way I was making the journey back to SIlvenar in the dark, on my own. Soon as I was inside I locked the door and quickly lit all the candles. I kept them lit all night.

Magister Amelie showed us how to make scrolls that are spells. I was really proud of myself because I did not mess up on my first try. I think this is a big step for me. To make a scroll, I need to focus and bind the spell form to the ink and onto the parchment. I cannot forget to pick a key phrase that will be used to activate the spell. The Magister did mention that if the ink runs or smudges, the scroll may become useless. I took note of the steps needed to complete this process:

1. Spells are somehow converted to a written form. I need to figure out how this is done because it is an important part of the process.
2. Once I know what spell I want, I need to scribe it onto the scroll.
3. Try to cast the spell into the scroll like you would be trying to actually use the spell. She explained this part as trying to connect it with a thread of magicka. This connection is what stops the spell from actually healing or burning up your parchment and stores it instead. The writing of the chosen spell should store it.
4. Pick a key phrase!
5. Once I have a key word picked, I must speak it out load while I write it on the parchment. Attempt to link the spell to the keyed word while writing it. ONLY SAY IT ONCE. If the word is repeated, the scroll is activated.

When I became an apprentice within the guild a few weeks ago, I had to pick a school that I was interested in learning about. I thought about picking destruction because I was already comfortable with it. If I went with that decision, it would kind of defeat the point of expanding my talents and knowledge. So I settled with choosing illusion. I find it a fascinating concept and I passed the first little test and successfully became an apprentice.

I feel like I’ve been able to learn more here than I would have ever been able to do in Silvenar. It feels weird to write that but I have never been on the best of terms with some of the mages there. Being around a whole new group has been nice. Not really having food and supplies is not something I am used too though. Both K’y and Aminos have offered to teach me and I have already been able to get some work in with K’y. I have been faithfully doing the exercise he told me to do morning and night until I broke my wrist getting tackled and falling off a ramp. I felt ashamed that it happened and frustrated because I feel like this will slow my learning down. On the bright side, Amelie said that our mage guild chapter has been invited to a party. I do not remember why though or if she even said. We also get a plus one and I invited Reliza to go. Hopefully this is a good way to pay him back for helping me find flour. I am so excited to go but really anxious because I have never been to something like this before. Aminos said he could help me find something and I want to get Reliza’s opinion on things too. I do have some finer clothes stored back home that I am going to go retrieve. While I am there, I also plan on getting a proper splint on my wrist.

After many attempts at trying to find time to practice and not be interrupted, Aminos was able to finally teach me some illusion magic. K’y followed along and added his help to the training too. I am so lucky to have found two great teachers. The session started out well and I seemed to pick up the silence spell fairly easily. K’y pushed me to silence all of Aminos and when I tried, I was able to do it. I was very happy with my progress although I was hesitant to really test anything on Aminos.

K’y said I should try casting fear. This made me very hesitant and I do not like how it turned out. The next section the writing is angerly scratched out.

Despite my mistake, I did get invited to dinner!

Guess where I am currently writing this entry? In Auridon! The dinner was so beautiful and amazing. From out table, you could look out over the water and watch the birds fly around the ships. All the food and wine were delicious. I do not think I have ever ate so much in my entire life. I felt like I could not move after all that. At the dinner, he gifted me this cute little trinket box that is in the shape of a gold turtle! I have no idea what to keep in it yet and that is okay because it alone is a treasure to me. I could store the necklace he gave me in it, but I never take it off.

He has asked me to stay with him and I have agreed. I have never been able to stay in a home that belongs to only one person that is so big before. Usually many families could live in the trees or connected pods back home.

I learned that his sister was in town asking around. I am not sure how to feel about this. He mentioned she was not as bad as his father, which is good? She still might not like me though. I have admitted that to the great and mighty “guardian daedric prince” when he asked how things were going. He thinks we may get along and he also assured me about my other worries. I do not think I would really fit into his world or that his family would ever stand to be around a bosmer savage. If for some reason he let any of this affect how he sees me, then K’y said he would drop him into the sea of ghosts. I really do not want that to happen but I think he would do it.

I met his sister, Ariana, in the tavern the other night. I didn’t recognize her for the first few minutes of being around her but how could I? I have never met her. She had a pretty purple skirt and top on. She asked a lot of questions and I was so nervous that I would say something wrong! I am not sure if the questions were her just being friendly and worried about her brother or something else. Some of them were strange to me. She stared at me the whole time and it was intimidating. I was starting to worry that I had something on my face! No one else stared at me like that and Aminos did not point anything out to me so I must not have.

We had a very interesting time testing out different flutes found in this cave. The gentleman that stopped into the guild was looking for a flute that helped calm animals. I think that was the one he was looking for. He hired the local chapter to help him search and everyone went along to help. In the end, we never found the one he was actually looking for but there was one we haven’t tried. And the reason for that was because a mushroom grew up through it. I was horrified! I thought that someone would just grab it and rip the poor mushroom right out of the ground! Thankfully, no one did but I cannot stop my worry and I do plan on going back to check on it later. At least Tobias seemed like a respectable man and was going to look into the matter more. He also had the most adorable creature ever! It was a something-vark and its name was Theodore. It had this super long tongue and it was so long, he could wrap it around my wrist!

When we were in the cave, Aminos found a flute with a cyan colored marker on it and when he played it, everyone was compelled to dance! I would rather have a flute that made people dance compared to one that makes fun of you or summons angry bees! I ended up bringing the flute home to mess with it and compare it to my charms. When I played the flute, I was able to get Aminos to dance in two different ways. He then asked me to dance with him and of course, I said I would. I told him I did not care that there was no music playing for us. He ended up telling me something really important. I hope I did not let him down but I do care deeply about him! I was surprised. I did not know what to really say and I know I can mess up meanings sometimes and I pray he did not take anything I said wrong. But this time, I do not think I did. I need to think on this more, it makes my heart feel like it would burst!

Aminos’s house warming gathering went really well! Though he does insist is was mine too. I think everyone had a good time. The next day he gave me another gift! It is a little seed that he suspended so it does not rot and with a spinner it will grow into a pod! How he got the idea, I am not sure but maybe I have said something about wanting a safe place of my own in the Green. This is what I have been saving up for. And now, it is here in my hands. I am so thankful.

We spent the rest of the day exploring the beach and I have settled on what I want to gift him in return. Hopefully he will like it.

I am worried about both K’y and Aminos, but mainly K’y since he is hurt the worst. He got himself captured by some mer and they tortured him. Aminos was able to locate him in the Alik’r desert. The only reason he was in that area was because he was looking into something for both Aminos and I. I feel like it is my fault he wound up in that predicament. He will probably have to spend a lot of time recovering and I am going to make sure that he does not push himself and make anything worse. He asked me to ask Aminos to bring Hjalti to him and I hope that a visit from the fluffy cat will do him some good. As long as Hjalti does not sit on him and hurt him more.

The following writing seems rushed and sloppy, not matching any of the other neat entries.

Someone hurt the sacred Green right before my eyes. I could not believe that anyone would do such a thing. They know where they live, the dangers it poses. I could not stand by and watch these disgusting actions not go unpunished. That is what happens to those that hurt the Green. They are punished, usually with death. At least, that is what I have always seen and been taught. Sara threw the possibility of what if it was Aminos to hurt the Green? This would never happen. He would never do such a thing and it does me no good to dwell on imaginary situations. If it were to happen, I would be the one to sacrifice myself instead of lay a hand on Aminos.

Aminos and Burdens were fighting when I returned to town. He said he was doing it bacuase Burdens looked like she wanted to hit him. That is such a silly reason to fight. I blame Alishine. She picks and picks at Aminos for some reason and he gets so mad. I get mad too. Why would someone want to ever pick at another like that? What’s the point? All it does is give headaches. I think that is what started the Burdens and Aminos fight. Burdens wanted Aminos to pay a fine, but he really didn’t have to pay a fine, and maybe she just didn’t believe that. I have no idea. I was not really there. Hopefully it is all worked out now though.

I got my first talisman! It is supposed to help defend against fear spells being cast on me. It is so small, it is hard to imagine it being able to do anything at all. It looks like a little skull that is wrapped with a string and a pretty stone set in the skull. Maybe I can thread it onto a necklace or an armband.

When Ciel was trying to give it to me, Aminos came up and hit the small talisman out of his hand! Thank the gods it did not get lost or broken. Aminos was saying I should not accept the gift. That it could be dangerous! But it is only a thoughtful gift from Ciel. I cannot believe that Aminos could be so rude. Even though Aminos was not acting his best, Ciel still said he would help me give shape to my illusions. The shaping is actually a combination of spells. To start, I need to work on manipulating smoke and mist. Ciel suggested that Aminos would be able to show me how to combine two spells. He said he could show me later. I hope he does not brush me off because I want to do this.

This entry is sloppily written, contrasting with the neat script above.

It's been weeks but it feels like a whole year has passed since he disappeared. So many different ideas went around and around in my head. Was it a feeling of the heart that lead him away? But if it was, why not just kick me out? Instead of stew, I looked around. Not even a note to be found! I did not think that anything was out of place. But I kept coming back to the items he left out. I am not sure what he was working on but after speaking my concerns with Burdens and Alena, it has to be whatever experiment he was doing that is to fault here!

I gathered the notes and got them to Alena. She knows so much more about this sort of thing and will be able to find out where he went. I know it. Burdens says she will help too.

The house is so large and quiet at night. I take comfort having Qara following me around but it isn't the same. It's cold in bed now and all the icky fruit in the kitchen is rotted. I need to throw it out.

I think I have really settled into the tavern now. I got all the old ledgers and other menus I have found in one spot and organized to my level of contentment. I cleaned and scrubbed every surface and floor. Which I hope to never do again! If I can get things going, I am going to hire someone to do the cleaning!

I need to sit down and redo a menu with what is left in stock. Think I could make it too pretty? It should not be like a painting but how can I just make something that is considered simple? I will work on this later. I hope Burdens still has the little general store going. I need to talk to her about getting in more stock. But I will have some restrictions and she will be understanding to them.

Qara and I have taken the best sleeping area to ourselves upstairs. She seems to keep any vermin out. It is nice to see her doing something for once instead of sleeping or glaring at everyone. Maybe Alena will stay with me again and have Goblin with her. They need to learn to have friends. I wonder how she is? I meant to speak with her at the mage gathering but than I forgot some bottles out in the tavern and I did not want anyone to just take them. By the time I got back there and put things away, I got side tracked. I did not make it back to the tower. Maybe she will come in some evening again, in better spirits.

I have not given up hope.

Why do very bad gifts happen around me now? What has caused this?

There was a box left at the tavern that had this missing wine that everyone was after for a long time. Along with a a potion that broke when Kashya took it out of the box. I blame all the box shaking she did before opening it! Because that is what people should do with mysterious boxes! Once it broke, the terrible green misty stuff went everywhere. It seems to have messed with people differently. Some acted like the were going to go to sleep! I wish I was one of those but I got really scared and paranoid from it.

It was like everyone in town was behind it and working with afflicted or something worse! It was another trap and I was cornered! Then there was yelling of a troll and I through some sparks that direction. Thank Y'ffre I did not hurt anyone but I am still a monster! After the fog of the potion lifted I learned that Adrian's little bat, who just got brave enough to venture out with him, got killed. By me!

I killed a fellow sister of the Green. It was terrible. I will forever hold this little bats memory in my heart. So will Adrian. I will make it right with him. We can go to Valenwood and hopefully locate a colony near where he lives. We can sit below their chatter and connect with them. Surely, Adrian will be chosen by another.