Notsu's Journal

A tattered journal lays with Suraru's belongings. Banded in leather and held together with twin, it has seen some better days. She keeps it off her person, knowing the dangers she gets into, but one might find it laying on her bed or under her pillow. The first 30 pages seem to be written like a story, and aren't attached to the book itself, but are loose pages. After that, it seems to pick up like a normal journal.

First 32 pages: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SU888-etw0M67CF_wdEyx9W8L11LxXVH3gSQU2dM0M0/edit?usp=sharing

They appear dated for 2E 583, going back as far as 2E 581. Interestingly enough, they don't mention the planemeld at all. No months or days are given until her actual journal starts.

2E 584 1st of Rain's Hand

It's been weeks since I was banished from the town of Riften by that snake of a cat. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me, and I still blame it over my accent. Since Cyrodiil is war torn and Morrowind would just enslave me, I've decided to return to High Rock.

I finally sat down in the town of Evermore. I had been here a few times when I was young, but ultimately I'm unfamiliar with the area. I met some very kind people, namely a Wood Elf named Diette. I helped her hunt down a few reachmen, no sight of my mother by the way, and uncovered an Imperial plot that I left in the hands of the guards.

Also, an edgy cat approached me and offered me a job. He totally runs an illegal business, probably assassination or thievery, but for me it's honest cash. He noticed the bar shut me down even though I demonstrated great provisioning abilities and probably took pity on me.

I made it clear I was looking to stay on the law's good side in this town, I hope he respects that. A few days later, he took over the tavern. I was looking for supplies when this happened, and I heard there was a murder, but now I have a free place to eat and sleep, and a source of income. So I can deal with the racist owner not being around anymore.

While I was hunting with Diette, she showed me her pet daedra clanfear, Toothie. He actually saved my life when I was distracted and a reachmen jumped me from behind (actually happened in game too, it was awesome). So I guess not all daedra are bad. Another khajiit who spoke like me joined us on that hunt. She was a lot quieter, a trait I honestly envy with all the trouble I've been in.

There's also this business man I showed around town. He showed me this cave with this portal and magical artifacts strewn about along with this strange argonian girl. In return, I found him the bank and a few markets he can do business with. He seems like a nice fellow, I got to tell him the story of how I cured my sister from being a werewolf.

With those good people, I've also met a few bad ones. There were a few horny men harassing this elven mage. They ignored me, which I'm not sure if I'm offended or thankful for, but I may have assaulted one when rented a room. Secrelty. From the shadows. He's ok, but I think he got the message.

There was also this strange man who followed me around when I was showing Foras, the businessmen, around. He invaded my room and I honestly thought he was going to kill me, but he was just interested in my knowledge about the current events. A very strange encounter.

Oh, I also met a talking crow. Yeah, I dunno. Overall, this town is much different from Riften. I think I'll hang out here for a while and see what happens. I kinda like the weird and unknown feeling of this place, in a weird way, I feel like I'll find myself here. I hope I do anyways, at least I've spiced up my life a bit, Riften was so boring.

---

2E 584 2nd of Rain's Hand

Sooo.... TIL Bar Tay's Mess is an actual location and the bar Koto'r took over wasn't Anchor's Point Inn.... So I'm retconning in a bit where I instead coarsed the Anchor's Point Inn into giving me a free room using Bay Tar Bandit's name as verbal muscle to attain this deal, all under Koto'r's nose of course. I'm planning for it to blow up in my face eventually, that'll be fun.

---

2E 584 3rd of Rain's Hand

While I was watching the bar, two mages walked in and started harassing me, somehow knowing about the Bay Tar's true dealings. I tried to defend our name, and luckily one of my coworkers stepped up to assist. That's when we learned Koto'r was in prison! I couldn't believe it, but that rogue person changed the conversation and instead accepted a job. Quite the silver tongue.

As he left, I decided to talk to him and try and get in on a cut. I agreed, but when I tried to get back in, they locked the doors! I was stupid to leave them in their by themselves, but after they had their fun they portaled out. The assassin guy who was now my boss chased them into the portal, so I guess that means I had to follow him, after I made sure to lock the place this time.

We jumped in, and not soon after they close it behind me. My boss started yelling, so some guy walked up and shot him with lightning. I flanked him and tried to help defend bossman by jumping on him to claw the fuck out of his face, but he turned into thin air! Before I could find out what happened, bossman nails me full force with his armor, probably trying to hit the mage. I broke my arm, probably a few ribs, everything went black for a second and all I could hear were distorted voices for a while.

I crawled behind a pillar and drew my weapon, noticing blood dripping everywhere off of me. I was thisclose to turning, but bossman basically went feral, in a blood rage. The mage stepped to the side, and the mean girl mage from earlier (who had apparently taken a seat and set up a ward to watch the action) reopened the portal and flung him through it. So I approached the male male, dropped my weapon because there was no way I was going to take him alone in my shape, we still didn't before I was injured with backup!

He accepted my surrender and and sent some healing mages. They were alright, I can breath normally and use my arm, but everything still hurts. Oh, also I'm a prisoner now. Fun. I'm not in jail, he called it protective custody and he wants to interrogate me soon, but at least they gave me a book to write in. Here I thought everything was going well, finally got a job and justice was served to those who shunned me, but now the leader is jailed, the new leader is a freaking vampire, and I got the shit kicked out of me today. Fun times.

---

2E 584 13th of Rain's Hand

My throat hurts, so while it heals I guess I'll write. It's been awhile since I've even slept in this room I rented a long time ago... Actually it was weeks ago, but it's felt like months. I found a boat, this nice lady needed a crew, taught me how to fish, and as it turns out, I'm a natural pilot. I ended up stealing it from her, sorta.

It's still hers, but I've put a name on it and I use it much more than she does. Even rounded up a bunch of other khajiit that have been making their way in town. Seriously, what started off as three of us, has turned into dozens. Some of them pretty good looking too... Anyways, just a little bit ago I go to the tavern for a break, and holy crap it's that vampire guy, Lazarus Haze, as I found out his name was.

I guess Koto'r is dead. I don't know why I was so attached to that sleazebag, but I felt some kind of connection with him. To hear he is gone... I didn't believe it at first. Then some skeeverbait was making fun of it! You better believe I was angry. Everything was terrible, my tail got stepped on, Laz defended himself ditching me, Koto'r was dead, and some piece of troll shit was laughing at it.

So I lost it, a blind of rage which I directed to the ground. Apparently it was a lot of rage because it zapped everyone nearby, and I was about to just let go on Laz, when he cheap shots me and lifts me by my throat. She squeezed and squeezed, and I don't know how he didn't just break it. I honestly wouldn't have complained if he did...

But one of my original Khajiit friends, Zieara showed up and convinced him to release me. I drank some water, and retreated up here with what was left of my dignity. I'm going to get him back for this, I obviously can't take him on myself one on one, but if there is anyone I want to see dead, it's that vampire piece of daedric trash that calls itself Lazerus.

---

2E 584 18th of Rain's Hand

Today has been very eventful. So I woke up to an argonian bouncing on the hull of my boat. As it turns out, he was a werewolf attracted to my scent, but more on that later. I go to help him up on the boat, trying to not be racist and trusting him, and he pulls me in the water. When I woke up, I was on the beach nearby. Then he just tells me what he is, and wants me to join his pack.

He ended up backing me into a small little cranny, turned, and I lasted about 10 seconds before he ended up on top of me, but instead of killing me, he did something much worse. Why do I always attract the terrible argonians? Why are they so attracted to me? I don't get it. One day, I'll be as powerful as my sister, and I can defend myself, or maybe I'll just lose it and kill them all.

So after he left, I went to the bar to drink it off. Bastard shows up again, takes me upstairs, and starts shouting at me for telling people what he did. Seriously? Well, some guy heard it and came through the door to get me out, fighting the lizard bastard. So the bastard starts telling him I'm the werewolf, but lucky me this guy has chivalry and would rather help out the skeevershit who's hitting girls than believe a word he says.

The fight gets dragged out of the bar, guards get involved, but the lucky piece of filth got away when the sky flashed colors. So we went to investigate it, some old guy with a scroll died, we went to the coast and I killed a ton of orc zombies (felt like a total badass, I guess they were only weak to magic, I even saved a bunch of people), and met an old friend. Then I went back to the tavern, talked it out and caught up with Salyyn, and a fellow Khajiit named Aahid said he'll take care of that argonian for me. Good riddance.

---

2E 584 19th of Rain's Hand?

So I headed out to the docks with Sal to help her with some magic stuff. Guess who showed up? Yup, that damn argonian. I told him to get off the boat, so he takes me with him. I was held hostage at the beach, so he let me go after stabbing me in the back. It felt horrible, I couldn't breath. It felt like my chest got very thick, and I didn't even feel the blade go in. After a while, it felt like I just got the wind knocked out of me, and my other lung started working. I lay there on the beach while Sal fought the wolf argonian thing. I was so useful yesterday, and here I was laying in the sand, unable to breath.

And then I'm pretty sure I died. Like I saw my body, and Sal crying. I started to rise up, when I felt a scream. Felt, not heard. Then with two pulses, I was shot back down to my body, but I wasn't inside it yet, just back on the ground. I could see myself cough, it was weird. I also felt the grief of a lot of people during this. Time no longer was relevant, I saw my sister when she got the news, I felt my sister when she got the news, same for everyone I've met in my travels from Rivinspire, to Riften, to Bangkorai, and even my parents... I hate my parents, but I could feel their sorrow, that I didn't even know they would feel for me.

I wasn't done here yet, and I think I saw Alkosh himself look at me from the moons and agree. With flick of his tail, I felt as if I was grounded. I shouted at Sal to start my heart, and I think she heard me, because she did. With every beat on my chest, I felt myself getting lighter, and getting closer back into myself, until everything went black. When I woke up, I was in Sal's house I think. Luckily she had a scroll laying nearby, so I started writing. I don't know how long I've been out, I think it's been weeks.

---

2E 584 27th of Second Seed

Months. Turns out I was out for almost two months. Turns out Sal saved me, and kept me in her house so I could recover. Notsu showed up too, and used her blood magic to keep me alive while I healed. I feel like shit, but at least I'm alive. Oh, and I'm pregnant I guess. That horny werewolf knocked me out, fucking great. I don't know if I should kill it or not, if it's a cat I might keep it.

How does an argonian werewolf knock up a khajiit anyways? That's literally impossible, reproduction does not work that way!

Whatever. At least my sister is back for now. She wants to care for me and stuff, like I'm retarded kitten or something. I like her around, but she needs to let me get my strength back instead of literally trying to feed me. At least that werewolf guy died, saw him gutted right in front of me. Made me sick to be honest, I almost vomited, but at least he won't bother me anymore.

---

2E 584 7th of Mid Year

Well a lot's happened since I last wrote.

I got better, took a few weeks but I can walk on my own now. I also learned fire magic too, but it's not as good as my shock spells. Then I met a few nice khajiits, got me into more sugary foods. Wow. I've also started to sorta pick up on their accent. Uh, our accent.

But I started to get kind of bored, and fell into my old habits. I know, I know, I just got comfortable here, why would I fuck it up? Well Alkosh was kind to me this time, I went and robbed this tiger like khajiit by the docks, accidently stabbed him. I failed so hard at robbing this guy, I took him to the mage's guild to heal. He eventually learned who I was, and actually starting hitting on me, didn't turn me into the guard or anything. Very nice.

Then a freaking zombie apocalypse happened. You can read the report my sister made me write on that. But the stress got me back into drinking too, and I started robbing more people. Well, failing to every time at least. Had a few close calls, but for some reason I can't stop.

Finally, I saw Itaneek again. Yeah, that same lizard that did all that stuff to me. I didn't recognize him at first, he had a different aura around him, but I still went into a bloodrage and tried to claw his face off. A friendly lizard named Skarll, who also promised me once he'd kill him, pinned me against the wall with his shield. I didn't know I had that much strength, but by the time I gave up, both of us were dead tired.

It probably only lasted 30 seconds, but it felt like an hour long struggle. I'm cooling off in the room I rented at the inn by writing all of this out. There's a bunch of people standing out by my door talking about me. Now that I'm cooled down, I should join the conversation.

---

At approximately 1800 hours on the 2nd day of Second Seed, 2E 582, a mage known as "Val" lured multiple people into the mage's guild of Evermore, High Rock, and convinced them to find three powerful stones. They did this, and from what I was told by my sister, refused to give them to her because she was acting fishy. She then summoned a dremora, who dropped a scroll before she was unsummoned by a quick thinking khajiit with a scroll.

However, some dumbass fucking bard read the scroll and started what you've all probably heard about by now. From what I know, a few people tried to hold the portal that opened in the building, but most fled because skeletons and zombies were coming out of the ground. Within an hour, everyone still alive and in the city held up in various buildings, some powerful mages creating a barrier around the Anchor's Point Inn.

This Inn became the staging grounds for various operations. Various factions and groups started to try and contain the situation. Some went out to get help from outside, others started the evacuation process. I know my sister went back to the mage's guild to retrieve a stone that would upgrade the barrier, but everyone who accompanied her was injured after the mission. I soon arrived after this, she summoned me and I took control of the situation with anyone that would listen to me. With the upgrades to the barrier, we were able to decimate multiple hoards by slowly letting them in so we could fight them.

However, while the hoards were dispersed, the number of undead seemed to remain the same. Once one was down, another would rise somewhere else. As night fell, we were able to disperse enough of them to a comfortable density, allowing dispatched teams to pick their fights as they ventured out of the bubble. I'm still gathering reports from the various teams I sent out, as well as witnesses from the events that transpired before, and during this chaos. I will update as soon as I can with a more complete recap.

Currently the situation is under control, by that I mean we're organized and have a stable safe zone. We don't know how to end the undead threat, but we know how to survive for now. There are still many houses we need to search in case there are still any survivors in the city, but we do have a bath of barricades set up to safely move people and supplies to the Inn from outside. Everyone who's decided to stay and help out has been the bravest bunch of people I've ever seen, but we can only afford for a few at a time to get at most four hours of sleep, and everyone is injured in some way. I don't know how long they can this before things get out of control again.

---

Suraru's statement regarding her use of force on Jonquil the bard:

Okay, so my sister is making me write this stupid thing on why I set the bard on fire last night.

For one, I actually kind of like Jonquil. I think he's funny and I even copied his personality when I, a sneaky mage, joined the Warriors group when we split up to find the gems. It was a joke, and I acted all high-and-mighty while the real Warriors had my back.

I dropped this act when we returned and Val was asking for the gems. Pretty much everyone called her out for being creepy and suspicious, and refused to give her the gems. So she she summoned the Daedra who stole the scroll she was looking for, and my friend, Sal, used in unsummon scroll she had laying around.

The Dremora dropped the scroll as she disappeared, and Jonquil grabbed it. Half of us said he should burn it, and I walked up to him and let some magicka burn in my hand, and begged him to put the scroll into the flame. The way he was holding it, I wouldn't be able to burn the scroll without burning him too.

So then he read it, and the gems flew out of everyone's hand and circled around him. Val laughed as he read it, and then the ground began to shake, so I tried to burn the scroll and ended up sending him on fire too. Had I been more eager to light him aflame, I could have stopped this whole Undead thing.

Val said something about how he missed translated the last word and turned them all feral, when they were supposed to be under her control. Jonquil ran out of the building while he was on fire, and a bunch of people tried to attack him as he fled. Me? I sat there and fought the oncoming horde with my magic, firing an almost constant stream of fire into the portal, while Sal kept trying to get me out by opening portals under me and stuff.

Likely a few more Warriors showed up as I got tired, but the city was overrun because they were also coming out of the ground. We retreated back to the tavern where someone put up a ward, and I saw Val standing there. Needless to say, I was pissed off because she was responsible for the deaths of so many people, so you can't really blame me when I went into a blood rage and tackled her. I tried to claw out the bitches throat, but she threw me off and threw an ice shard at me.

Someone obviously didn't know what she did and tried to stop me by holding me down, and he end up taking the ice shard for me. Val disappeared in a cloud of moths, and that was that. Before Notsu showed up, Sal and I snuck back into the Mages Guild together some upgrade stones for the ward. Sal got grabbed and I got bit pulling her out. She had turned into a bird to give me some aerial support, but turned back in the guild so she had to walk back naked carrying me. Luckily everyone was too focused on the undead to care.

That's pretty much my recount of that day, I'm sure once this whole thing is over everyone else will share theirs. I'm only writing now because well everyone else deals with this klusterfuk, I'm sitting in bed waiting for my ankle to heal.

---

There is an open bounty for the gold armored Argonian that tortured and murdered a new citizen of Evermore, the fair khajiit lady Suraru Harlan! Please contact her sister, Notsu Harlan or Salyyn the illusionist for a 100k gold reward!

Suraru was known by many as a kind soul once you got past her tough exterior. She had an unfortunate misunderstanding with being accidently associated with local bandits, which was cleared up by the guards, and could since be found fishing in her boat with a small crew.

All were welcome on her craft, including her murderer, who captured her when she was alone and tortured her. After she got away, he returned to attempt it again, however many citizens came to her help. Unfortunately, this vile creature ended her life on the beach, and was soon detained even in his werewolf form. Before he could be properly imprisoned for a fair trial, he escaped!

This argonian is bulkier than average, sports golden heavy plates or at times barbaric styled medium armor. He is green and has horns, but no feathers. Do not mistake him for a normal argonian, for this one reaks of a wet and dying dog. If you smell him, please ask for help before confronting him, for he is incredibly dangerous, and may turn into a werewolf at any time.

(In game name, IC unknown, is Itaneek. No, suraru isn't actually dead, she was later revived by a small party and hidden away to recover, but she will be gone for a period of time while I introduce her sister, Notsu.)

---

For the past year I've been saving citizens down in Imperial City. There are so many to be rescued, and all the alliances do is fight over the right to help them. I've seen this city change banners so many times, I've decided to ditch the Pact and just kill Daedra to get citizens out myself. It's hard.

Sometimes I get help from some soldiers with a conscience, but the help is rarely good enough. It's a huge city, and the are still infinite numbers of people it seems. This is why when the stone my sister gave me to communicate rang me for once, and it wasn't her, I decided to leave.

Apparently one of her many werewolf stalkers had finally caught up to her. She could handle her own, she did for years before she found me and cured me of my own lycanthropy, but she contracted it herself doing that journey and held onto it, pissing off Hircine so much he cursed her with kill mark. I'm surprised she let one get close enough to apparently kill her. She was brought back in time, though, but she hasn't come back enough to open her eyes.

Lucky me, however, the bastard that did this was a lizard. I love lizards, they make the best armor. Stylish too. I can't wait to get my claws around his neck. These axes were made for killing Daedra, but watching them for the past year has taught me some interesting ways to make mortals suffer with blades like these. I'll make sure he feels every unit of pain equivalent to my anger, he has no clue what's coming to him.

I really hope my sister is alright though. I owe her for saving me and she's the only family I have left. If she dies, I don't know what I'll do.

---

Days of hunting and trying to bring my sister back have resulted in this. Failure.

Sal, bless her heart, found the werewolf scum and crippled him instead of telling me. So now not only is the sport gone, but I'm pretty sure that cocky argonian fled, so I've lost my chance at getting a new addition to my scale armor too. I'm so pissed, Alkosh has taken away the most important kill I may ever have in my life. My only hope now is to hope Suraru pulls through, and, as morbid as it seems, hope someone else kills her so I can get proper revenge....

Actually what am I saying, that's terrible. I'm just upset, I hope she pulls through and stays alive, longer than me. She's nice, something this laughable existence needs more of, and everyone should do what they can to keep that fire alive. I can settle for what was done to him, he won't be able to turn anymore, he's a laughing stock in the face of Hircine, a fate worse than death. I don't need a new lizard skin belt if that's his fate, but I still wish Sal would have let me kill him instead.

Speaking of Suraru's friends, I hadn't realize she had so many. They all seem like nice people, strong too. Where she lacked in strength, she made up for in friendship. I guess they weren't too helpful earlier, but everyone has a small chance to get bested, even the greatest swordmaster. Someone like her survived this long somehow, and I'm certain it was because of her personality.

I really hope she lives.

---

So Suraru's fine. She's really weak and stuff now, like more than she used to be. I don't think she came back as whole as I was expecting. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but she technically died for a moment there. She gets really defensive about it, I guess it's harder for her to act strong now when she's always tripping over herself.

I can't leave her like this, I think this trip up away from Cyrodiil is going to take a bit longer than I expected. At least I was able to get my revenge on that lizard dude. He tried to kidnap my sister, she told me with her voxstone thing and I was able to jump in just in time to remove his head. I'm wondering what I should do with the skin, maybe a belt? Seems kind of fitting after what he did to Suraru.

2E 584 27th of Mid Year

I saved my sister's journal for her while she heads back to Cyrodiil. I just kind of left the pages there. There's also a few flyers I kept for nostalgia.

So the Artifactium blew up and everyone went their own ways. Khajiit guesses it was really the only thing keeping all these people here. This town has gotten very quiet, but I met my dad! He's a total douche. Luckily Ma'Sura, that's my new name (sounds more khajiit like, no?) has many friends to give her company. Life is going to get nice and boring again...

---

Many travelers noticed the burning phoenix in the skies of Evermore today. A moth priest who knew of this creature shared her knowledge of the creature, before following it up north where it landed. The Maat Yolzoor is a judgmental phoenix, said to heal any undesirable traits of person it deems worthy. Depressed, rude, or broken individuals would benefit greatly from such a creature, however others think it might taste great, or could be captured and tamed.

As the group followed the moth priest to the crest of a hill north of Evermore, the bird flew away, leaving a pile of ash where plants used to be. They soon discovered under the ash were plants that were greener and larger than the surrounding ones. However, this curious phenomenon was cut short, when the phoenix, which appeared more draconic in nature up close, reappeared and burned down the moth priest!

After some flabbergasted stares, the creature spoke it's own name into the heads of the adventurers, and flew away to lands unknown. As the group looked at the ash pile with confusion, the moth priest rose with burnt clothing and repaired eyes (and sanity!) However, it's not every day you see someone get burnt to ash and rise again, thus she was struck down mid sentence for being undead. As the group realized their mistake and took care of the body, the phoenix watched on from a distance.....

---

Ma'Sura added a page from a flyer someone wrote right before she left Evernore. This one missed this, bird sighting, but if this tale is true, she will jump on the chance to meet it, and heal her. We all packed up and moved to Nimalton, due to rumors that it was sighted around the Rift. Maybe khajiit will get lucky? All this talk of healing sounds amazing! There is some slight trauma left from that lizard guy.

Ma'Sura actually thought about getting into healing, like mental healing. She has noticed when she sleeps, that her soul leaves her body. That soul, being me of course. While in this form, I see emotional connections, and I can latch onto my friends to see how they feel. This would be outstanding for mental therapy! Now this one just needs to learn the tricks...

---

It's been a long time. Many people have left the search of the Maat Yolzoor, breaking my heart as every friend goes their own ways. Khajiit HATES goodbyes.... The search hasn't shown anything, this one doesn't even know if the story was true, and maybe this was all a huge waste of time. She's started sneaking back into Riften, just to find someone new to talk to. Hopefully none of the guards recognize her.

Ma'Sura hopes something happens soon, or she may abandon this quest, like everyone else is.

---

Journal entries are becoming less and less frequent as depression and lack of motivation sets in.

---

We gave up. We all did. Ma'Sura's few friends are hanging out Nimalton for her, but she doesn't want to see anyone. The pain of her friends leaving is too much, that she's going to ignore what friends she has left. Puh, that makes sense. Stupid behaviors, maybe if a certain phoenix showed up, it could cure this rut Ma'Sura is in!

---

Protip: As a khajiit who can't fight back, do not go to stonefalls to look for trouble.

Has boredom gotten to this one so much, she decided to put herself in such a poor situation? Gods, what those slavers did... So there were three of them, all dunmer. A dark haired youth was called Vaermorse, he was quite demented. Kept looking for creatures to mate this one with, luckily he was a moron and never succeeded. Next was Dilavyn, red haired brassy tool. She forced Ma'Sura to fight other slaves with her bare claws... She had to kill... Finally, Ferlin was this older white haired mer, he seemed to keep the other two from fighting, and appeared wise.

Eventually though, One-Who-Devours, an argonian necromancer my sister used to date, came to khajiit's rescue. He was actually captured with redoran khajiit covered in ash, Jakodesh. The two broke out of their chains, and killed Vaermorse with an exploding rat! His head popped off backward, held by his spine! It was sickening, but the other two escaped while my rescuers got this one out of there.

Dev opened up to me on the trip back, talking about his past adventures, and how my life has been pointless. He wanted khajiit to get better, and to make something of her life. He started to get a little... creepy about it. I think he might be into Ma'Sura on a romantic level. Gods, Notsu would be pissed if she ever found out.

---

Bright moons! Ma'Sura just learned from her father where her mother went after they split up! A village called Vulkswaston, in Valenwood, the Malabal Tor region. Khajiit is packing up to head there immediately with her sister, and what's left of her friends still in Nimalton. Wish her luck!

Ma'Sura arrived in town, no one has seen her mother. Her sister left to head up to Vvardenfell, to hunt slaver parties and get revenge for what they did to me. Sal is going to stay for a bit, keep Sura safe, then head back to Riften. Khajiit won't leave until she finds clues for where her mother went after here.

She has heard rumors, that this place was attacked by Daedra? Aye, what has this one gotten herself into? Hopefully a quiet stay, yes? For now, the Inn has rooms paid for the month.

2E 585 5th of Frost Fall

Ma'Sura has gotten to know the locals. Fine folk, if a little strange. There is this very young kitten, half this one's age who fights for the fighter's guild! What in the dark moons would allow such a thing?!?! Regardless, no one here apparently has lived in town around Ma'Sura's birth, so the trail might be cold. Khajiit will stick around regardless, maybe interesting things will happen, maybe she'll catch a lead. Knowing her family's history is too important to just walk away from.

This one has started helping out the local fighter's guild as a healer. While her magic isn't up to par with others, she does know lots of actual practical medical knowledge that can help. Maybe she can even find work with her dream walking ability, yes? There seems to be plenty of mentally damaged patients Ma'Sura could make bank off of. She will need to do this quickly though, before her rent is up. Khajiit has also left flyers around town, in case anyone wouldn't mind her staying for free.

Three weeks ago, Ma'Sura Harlan visited her friend, an argonian necromancer named One-Who-Devourers. He was having issues with nightmares and mortality, a perfect patient for Ma'Sura's dream walking abilities. However, while attempting to provide therapy after teaching him to meditate so she could enter his head, Dev took advantage of Sura in this vulnerable form, and bound her, preventing her from leaving due to his strong and obsessive connection to her.

This had been something Dev was planning for a while, as for the past month he's been in Valenwood, he was building a small army of woodland creature thralls, which he used to take out traveler and bandit camps. Soon, he had an army of advanced thralls that patrolled autonomously, capable of expanding by themselves. He soon began to experiment, creating razor sharp bone jackals, exploding rats, bloated vomiting thralls.

Warning: Graphic

He began to torture her mind, first having his way with her against her will, then letting her go to flee into the forest. However, the undead he had gathered would chase her and prevent her from leaving, lightly wounding her if she was caught. Dev would personally save her from being torn apart, leading more to the mindfuck.
Eventually, she attempted to take her own life by splitting her neck open with a sharp rock she found. Dev, mortified his attempts to get her to love him turned into this, healed what he could, and took time away to ponder. Void of motivation,
she found his stash of Skooma, which he was black market selling for gold, and drowned her sorrows and pain through the bottles, violating herself violently in a mental breakdown shortly before help arrived.

Before she attempted to take her life, she reached out for help using her dreamwalking abilities, and was able to find a fellow dreamwalker, Gilyn. She asked him for help, and told him what she could before she woke up. Meanwhile, Sura's sister, Notsu, noticed her missing, and began to rally support. She harassed the fighter's guild, and left multiples of Sura's friends in the area to search, while she followed her own leads.

Soon, enough intell was gathered and an assault was planned to deal with the necromancer threat, the rescue of Ma'Sura another primary objective given the high price Notsu put on her head. Many people geared up and prepared; fighter's guild members, town guard, concerned and capable citizens, and Sura's friends. All had their own reasons, be it moral, safety, money, or friendship, to embark on this mission.

As the large force of nearly 30 made their way into the swamp, not far from Vulkstwaston, they spotted three hoards of undead, 50 thralls each, and a small shack. Three teams were made, one small team to take out the possible necromancer and save the khajiit, another to protect the escape route, and a third to keep the undead busy while the small team went in. As the teams went into position, the battle began.

The escape route team fought the flanking force of undead, and somehow attracted undead mammoths who charged right for them! The primary force began a fight for their lives, many getting injured and one losing his life during the frey, facing the brunt of Dev's terrifying undead creations. The battle was fierce, and eventually the escape closed off as everyone found themselves wounded and surrounded. They were losing the battle, their only hope was the death of the necromancer in the shack.

Warning: Graphic

As the shack team entered, Ma'Sura was laying in the bed, soaked in skooma and her own urine. The cut across her throat barely healed, her clothes torn across her private areas, which were also abused and mutilated. Bruises lined her neck and arms, and her eyes were pinprick, dull and non-responsive. She murmured to herself, mentally broken, and her body was frail from malnutrition.

The sad state of Ma'Sura drove some to anger, who immediately went to slice him open. Unfortunately, the quick thinking villain tied the vitality of himself and his captive, the slash in his shoulder appearing on Sura as they tried to pick her up. As he friends were mostly apart of this team, letting her die was out of the question, even as they watched the losing battle outside the shack.

One-Who-Devours explained to the party that the result before them was not his intention. He loved Sura, and wanted her to love him, and what they saw was her own doing. Whether genuine or not, they pleaded with him to stop this madness, and promised to help him as well. After a long discussion, and the fucked up situation, Dev finally decided to give up.

He let him have Sura, and walked into the swamp, chiming a bell that released the dead, saving what was left of the Vulkswaston force. They quickly wrapped up their injuries, and regrouped with the others, who had their own injured as well. They quickly made it back to the town square and laid the wounded in a makeshift triage center, where advanced medical care was provided.

Ma'Sura regained consciousness, and snapped out of her trance. Still high from Skooma, she was taken to a rehab center to heal as much of the damage done to her as they can. Multiple others were wounded, 3 severely, and few left without scars. No one knows where the argonian necromancer went, it's expected he ended his life, but we cannot know for sure. Let this tale go into the records, to show proof that the town of Vulkswaston will come together to fight any threat and save their own, no matter the cost.

Khajiit was able to obtain a copy of her version of the series of events from the last month. She was interviewed by a scribe, and saved the records.

Being stuck in the clinic is... very boring for this one. Ma'Sura hates not doing anything but sitting around to heal, meanwhile there are people suffering. She does not know how long she can last before she just gets up and leaves.

There isn't much to do but write. Ma'Sura has been helping out as a patient lately, it's something to do around here. However, her help isn't always wanted. Just the other day, this cat was stabbed in the lung. Wraesha, she heard her name was. Ma'Sura was rife with advice and medical knowledge for how to treat it, but they were so short fused, they kicked her out! They are lucky their patient didn't die..... Grrr, it is what it is, I guess.

Maybe soon this one will be out of the hospital, her wound are mostly healed, and she's even gone on a few adventures. She feels like she must, seeing how she's the only one to bring actual healing supplies, instead of a staff which only accelerates the healing. A few interesting adventures, khajiit makes sure to stay back to avoid getting hurt in her fragile state. Her arm is still held on by stitches, but at least she can help with one hand, no?

2E 585 5th of Frost Fall

Maybe Ma'Sura will become a mental therapist after all! This feral khajiit, Storm they called him, was tortured by slavers around the same time this one was tortured by a necromancer. He faced worse horrors than Ma'Sura, repressing himself deep in his mind, leaving only primal instincts. A bosmer, Dissy, and I entered his mind today. We discovered he had killed his family in a blood lust, so like any dreamwalker, I gave him the chance to say goodbye, and apologize, while his own brain had them forgive him. Quite the spectacle. Once we were out, Storm was starting to walk up more often, use tools, and even draw. It's working!

Maybe soon he will be like his old self. Ma'Sura didn't know him before, and it might just be the fact he crawls around naked all the time, but he isn't a bad looking ja'jiit. The one wounded before, Wraesha, has come to this one for help as well. Ma'Sura 's influence is spreading! She even has a great spot to open up, her burned down house. Ma'Sura will take her there, and provide the same therapy she is known for, this one is packing sleeping potions to help. I know the last time she did a solo call in a remote spot, she was captured by a creepy lizard. Well Wrae definitely isn't a necromancer, or a slaver, or a theif, or a murderer, so Ma'Sura has nothing to worry about. She won't let one bad experience ruin her ability to help people.

Ma'Sura doesn't know the date. It's early in the morning me thinks, based on the temperature and the birds singing. No one's around, everyone is sleeping, and khajiit has chains around her arm. This one.... I... I don't know where Wrae is, has she been killed? Did the bear attack defense work? Not knowing is driving me crazy. I'm afraid my sobbing will wake someone up and I'll learn the answer soon.

I can write about the state of my body? Khajiit feels great all things considered, everything looks like it's been healed. My face is even fixed, and the arm that was healing slowly is naught but a scar now. I don't know which healer took care of this one, but they are amazing. Even the damage from when I was Dev's hostage was healed. I just realized that one of the reasons it could be healed is because I've been out for a long time. Gods I hope Wrae is okay.

2E 585 6th of Frost Fall

I guess I should write down what happened. Wraesha was in a rut, simple enough. Needed money before her life ended. So, like anyone would, she got desperate, and had a terrible idea: to skin a khajiit and sell it's fur. And I was the target. Just like Dev, she took me to her burned down house, and we talked for a bit. She was regretting it and trying to talk herself out of it with every step. She was having problems meditate, so we drank a sleeping potion, I did was well to make her feel comfortable. It was a mistake, she didn't drink.

I bounced around our shells for a while, and felt every emotion running through her head... it was powerful. Finally, when she cut my throat, I woke up. It wasn't a deep cut, but the previous cut made it much worse. I started to bleed out, and beg and cry for my life, and Wrae freaked out, and beat me face in with a skillet. I convinced her to stop, and set me upright to not die, but I was fading, fast. I was going to enter her head, and give her instructions, but I ran out of time and fainted. Wrae freaked out, so I found someone who finally went to sleep, and told him to rescue me. He showed up with multiple people, including the damn investigator who knew exactly what happened.

I was out for just over two days, holy fucking bright moons, the healer who tended to this one, was amazing. When I woke up and learned where Wrae was, on the wait to be executed, we all started looking for ways to save her. Convince the guard, opt for banishment, maybe even break her out. Avast, when it was my time to visit her... Let this one write that result on another piece of paper.

Actual spoiler, don't read

Wrae and I cried for each other, and hugged. We both apologized, I failed her, and she tried to kill me. It's whatever. Then someone with the magpies came to take her away! She wasn't being executed! However, she was being sold as a slave, to pay her debt, while also being banned from the down. We said goodbye, I told her to keep looking for the happy ending for when she leaves, plus she can write letters to her boyfriend! Bittersweet, but not death.

With Wrae gone early, Ma'Sura ran into town (well, stumbled on account of the brain damage I forgot to mention) to tell everyone what happened. Wrae was gone. It's been a tough day, and now I need to learn how to move Ma'Sura with a fucked up body, that's delayed on the right, and weak on the left. This suuuuucks.

A letter addressed to The girl I tried to kill

I don't know if you're gonna wake up, but if you do, I wanted to say I am so sorry for everything. I was scared and desperate and I wasn't thinking. You don't have to forgive me. I wouldn't if I were you. I just wanted you to know that I didn't want this. If I could take all of this back I would. I'm not a monster, but I did an evil thing. My well wishes don't mean anything at all, but you have them anyway.

-Wrae

2E 585 15th of Frost Fall

It's been eventful.

Jako, this Khajiit from Vvardenfell who followed my sister down here to check on my wellbeing, decided to stay and look out for me. He doesn't like when I talk like a Khajiit, but he's very protective and nice. We may have gotten a little involved, which is a mess because Rax and I decided I can be his rebound until he can find a new girl, which he may have actually done, but I should note I think Jako is married. Sigh, why does every nice feline guy interested in this one have to be married?

Besides that bit of fun, I've set up an ad for my dreamwalking business. Its a good source of money, and I can experience other people's memories. It's become so much easier to understand other people since I started doing this. Even the jerks of the world have their reasons.

Speaking of jerks, Ma'Sura is certain not too many in town like her. Estre, some hoity toity altmer girl and I got into it once about healing, so all of her friends hate me, and a lot of people on top of that first met me when I was bed stuck and frustrated. Then today some spell made me (and a few others) start attacking people.

At least I'm not in the hospital again. Still, I may want to talk to the local therapist about it. Another thing Notsu noticed is I might not be as forgiving to Wrae as I say to myself.

Besides those issues, I am living with a girl named Fena. She's very nice, and so is the little home she has. So half the town hates me, I'm in a love triangle, I'm brain damaged, and i have some emotional troubles? Well at least I have income, a few good friends, and a place to sleep. So I'll take the good I have and run with it.

2E 585 17th of Frost Fall

I fucking saw Mi'Zaar yesterday! It was amazing! We talked, caught up, and cuddled the rest of the night. I missed him, a lot. He's the oldest friend I have, the rest are gone or dead. It wasn't even a year ago when I met all my friends in Evermore. Riften had burned me so bad, and everyone from Falkreath died or disappeared. The only friend I had from before Evermore was Sal, but we aren't talking anymore. She's too stubborn, and almost cut off my arm trying to save me from Dev. Got into a huge fight over it, and we aren't talking.

digging up the past

Everyone from Evermore went their separate ways. I don't see Berylin anymore, no idea where she is, Skarll married someone and runs a tavern with them in Evermore, Itaneek's shell went somewhere, I dunno. La'Assa married Ra'Khim and they both disappeared. Azarai still runs her trading caravan, not like I really saw her that much anyways, but she was a good friend when she was around. There's a ton more I haven't mentioned and I have no idea where they went, or if they're even alive.

So that means Mi'Zaar and Ro'John are the only two left from that time period. Crazy how much can change in less than a year. I miss all of my old friends. It hurts me to think about, after the artifactum disappeared, there wasn't much to do after all the factions left town. I remember going crazy when people left the hunt for the Maat Yolzoor because I knew I would lose contact with everyone. Friendship is very important to me, and here I am far away from everyone, in a town that constantly tries to kill me, with no friends besides the people I just met.

So seeing Mi'Zaar opened up a lot of emotions.

In other news, found out Fena was a werewolf. Moved out and she gave me money to get another room nearby. I can't risk being near her if she loses control. I've nearly died twice in the last month, a third time might be for good. I need to be careful. Ro'John's brother died, Notsu helped rescue him but they didn't make it in time. He's been a bit closed off. Well he's always like that, never around and always has his "men" hovering around him. It's why we broke up. But he probably needs someone now, I should find him a mate like I'm doing for Rax.

Oh yeah, and Fena had her kids. I was too distracted by literal childbirth to be of any help, and got my hand crushed by hers. But hey, I was there, so that's something. I really need to see that Aleene girl, but she's never around. Also, Notsu has been hanging out too, so at least I'm not 100% alone here.

2E 585 26th of Frost Fall

Well, I was in jail for the past few days.

Fena turned into a werewolf, and ran out of town. She was trying to defend me from Afer. The bastard tried to silver test me, and didn't believe me when I tried to explain preycanthropy. Called the guard and everything, Kashya almost let them kill me! She said the words until I let them test me with this plant similar to wolfsbane. It didn't burn, like I thought it would, but then the grew suspicious of Fena and chased her out of town. She was stabbed in back, some short bosmer rode her half way through town.

The first night, was cold, and it sucked, and no one was allowed to visit. Then my dad was in the cell for bit, stupid moron tried stealing drinks. After he left, Jako visited and I got some food from Kaz and Ji. Kaz was... very mean to me, and hurt my dad. I dream walked and found Fena, she's alive, just very, very hurt.

The third day, they came in and silver tested me. Some orc held me, Notsu was there, and they pressed it to my hand after Thaleg, the bosmer, assured me I would be fine if it burned. And.... it didn't burn. All this time, I thought she was a preycanthrope. All those issues, and heartache, were all because of that affliction in my head .

This sucks. I don't know how I feel about this. Relieved? Or disappointed that I was that stupid.

2E 585 27th of Frost Fall

I guess a lot of people had nightmares.

I don't know if this will ruin me, or make me. It really depends how people feel about dreams now....

2E 585 31st of Frost Fall

Wrae is back. Guess she cut off her leg and escaped or something.

And of course, Rax dropped everything to be with her again.

I don't know how I feel about this. I've been having a lot of headaches lately, super painful. Maybe I know Wrae was coming back, somehow.

1st of Sun's Dusk, 2E 585

It's Notsu.

I'm writing this in for Sura, since she can't right now. During a mission, one I did not want her to go on, she passed out and started bleeding for no reason. I brought her back to the clinic, and Estre said she had brain swelling and massive brain damage. I guess what Wrae did to her got worse. Damn, thought she was doing better too, given how she was walking straight again.

But, Ma'Sura pulls through, always. She pulled through losing me, she even got me back when I was a feral werewolf, I don't know anyone who could do that! She dealt with torture so many times, that she just shrugs it off now. Hell, when her brain was messed up, she learned how to walk straight even though it was still jacked up.

She might go down with a single punch, and couldn't hurt a fly if she wanted, but Ma'Sura is the toughest person I know. Someone once told me that weak people don't survive on Tamriel. If that's true, Ma'Sura definitely isn't weak, and I know she'll pull through. Once you're awake and you can read this, I want you to know, I love ya Su, get better soon. -Notsu.

2nd of Sun's Dusk, 2E 585

My sister stole my journal and said nice things about me. Mostly stretches of the truth, I am weak and useless, but at least I'm still usefull, I can heal in ways most can't. Still though, what happened yesterday won't stop bugging me. Before, the brain exploding part, we were at this beach, and I saw my mom. Pretty sure it was my mom, it felt like it was. But that's not what's bugging me.

What's bugging me, is when I finally came too, and I was being dragged away by maomer with illusion magic, no one came for me. I was halfway into the ocean, and everyone has had friends to save them. I had no one, and no one cared. That was the true fear, not of dying, but of dying alone. I thought I was going to die, I started crying as I just accepted my fate. I started to drown when someone pulled the arrow out of me, and I woke up with Notsu patching my wounds.

I assume she saved her, but I'm still not alright. I know I'm not well liked around here, but no one even tried to help, all too focused on eachother. Something tells me they wanted me to die, wanted me out of their hair. I should just leave, find somewhere else, maybe a nicer village where I can fuck up and not be so easily hated. I'm in the clinic again though, my head started bleeding and I was having seizures. Once the healers find out what's wrong and treat it, I'm out of here, of the whole town.

3rd of Sun's Dusk, 2E 585

Today I snuck out of the tavern with the good looking Ashi, whom I've given my room to (and his sister Kiri... and for some reason this hot guy stealing toy dagi named Nari), and Cantose. A calming spell helps stop the tremors that keep happening, so we looked for the recipe for a calming potion that should make life easier until we find a cure.

Then, I met this mystic who could apparently read my future. He didn't tell me what was wrong with my head, instead he told me I had a month to live. I wised up and had Ashi guard me while he did this, just in case he was going to murder or kidnap me, again. See? I learn!

I don't know if what he said is true, it's not like I'm going to believe some random dude wearing a skull, but obviously the morbidness of it is keeping me up, thinking, what if? I've survived so much, I ain't gonna let this kill me, Sal and I (we made up) are going up to morrowind on Middas to ask the dunmer for a cure. If anyone can help, they can.

If not... well, I guess I should start saying goodbye to everyone, make a bucket list or something. Even if I'm doomed to die, fuck death if it thinks I won't make the best of it. I really don't want to die though, that'd be totally messed up if life put me through so much, teased me with death, then said I was fine, only to hammer me in for good a few months later out of nowhere.

Everyone is going to do this fight night thing, I think I might sneak out and try it out. It'll be fun, I might get my ass kicked, just like the good old days in Riften, but lately, I kind of want to go back to that feeling. Hell, I even got wasted a few hours ago. Still kind of feeling it even after Sal's spell, but fuck it I'm going anyways to have fun. Too much morbidness and drama, all I need is some gods damned fun around here.

3rd of Sun's Dusk, 2E 585

Just, fuck everything. I was going to go to the fighting ring, hope someone underestimates this one, and either win or lose, but have a lot of fun. I had this plan, where if I won, I would reveal myself so everyone would be impressed with me, maybe like me a little more and not think of me as some worthless loser who yells at everyone, but my disguise was blown as soon as I stepped up, and no one wanted to fight. When Jako stepped up to give me a match, everyone just left.

I actually started to win, too, took him down to the ground, but then I looked up and two couples were all that were left, and they were just talking to each other. There was at least a score of people who just walked away. No one cares about Ma'Sura, and most probably just hate her. If this illness kills me, only a handful of people are going to know, or even care. Maybe I should just make sure I'm gone, take care of it on my own terms. Ain't like I'm useful, strong, or even liked anyways.

4th of Sun's Dusk, 2E 585

Dark A.F.

I feel like writing a million journal entries lately for some reason. Result of crippling loneliness? Who knows. After giving it a night of thought, I've decided I'm going to do it. Chances are, I'm probably going to die anyways, with a lot of suffering, and I'm going to prove that seering wrong one way or another. I should probably start saying goodbye to those few who care about me.

Even if I end up surviving the brain damage, I'm still going to be ignored and hated. This town is just another example of that, the last three times I've been to a gathering, I was walked away from, left to die, or just straight up ignored like I didn't exist. It's been the same way at other towns too. If you can't heal, fight, or make people laugh, what point is there in getting to know you? Let alone living.

So yeah. I'll say goodbye to anyone that cares, maybe hunt down old friends too just in case, tell them it's the brain disease, then find the most painless way to go. Question is, do I do it quietly on my favorite cliffside, or in the most gory way possible in the middle of town?

5th of Sun's Dusk, 2E 585

Sura ran off, I have no idea where she went. I tried tracking her, but she's an illusive little one. I guess she really wants to be alone right now. I hope what she wrote above isn't true, I'm going to be a bit pissed off if I never see her again. Just in case though, I'm keeping her journal and staying in Vulkswaston, if she returns.

Since I stopped writing in evermore, I should write down what's happened since then. Things in imperial city calmed down, so I went to Vvardenfell where I heard rumors of illegal slaving going on, and I wanted to keep making a difference. Took out some gangs, freed a lot of people, then I moved to Vulkswaston to help Sura when I heard she was missing.

That's really it, not too interesting. I might put up some wanted posters if she doesn't show back up in a week. I really hope she left to find a cure or something. It's a bit selfish to abandon what's left of your family, and your friends because you care about everyone else not caring about you...

(OOC Note: I'm retiring Sura for a while. As a character, she's gotten too close to me in personality. I differed her enough to protect myself from most bleeding, but her friendship situation mirrored mine to a point of extreme uncomfortableness, and RPing her was exploiting my own insecurities to a point where RPing her bled full force into me.

(If I decide to kill her, which I still intend to do for many reasons, I'll use timeskips to roleplay out her goodbyes and final moments, which will be quiet and with a close group of friends.

(If I decide to let her live, she will return as new character much, much later, after some much needed offscreen development for my own health. Meanwhile, enjoy Notsu as my new main.)

20th of Sun's Dusk, 2E 585.

I've stayed around town long enough. Sura still hasn't returned, I think it's time I look for her. I probably won't find anything, but it's better than sitting around here with people I don't know, nor care for. I doubt I'll ever find her, if she died, her body is gone by now. Maybe I can find something else to live for while I'm on this search? Who knows....

(OOC Note, it was great RPing with you all, but I need to take my leave from BSR. I haven't really had any fun with any recent events, and I just get frustrated over things the GM has no control over, so I just need to look for a different style. There are other things influencing my choice, part of it is some social anxiety, and being apart of such a large group is... just not for me, simply put.

(I have no bad feelings towards anyone, so feel free to contact me on discord if you want to continue arcs or anything like that. I love you all <3 )