Wraesha's Therapy Journal

image no longer hosted — https://i.imgur.com/4NvA9Qo.png[/img]
image no longer hosted — https://i.imgur.com/MjSS5u1.png[/img]

Text reads:
Alijham said I ought to write a journal. He said it’ll help me feel better, and Jone and Jode, do I need that right now. Here’s hoping this thing won’t be too self incriminating. But maybe it it is it’ll speed up the whole execution process. It took to long last time. Took them days to decide whether or not to kill me. They could’ve at least given me a book while I waited. I’m thinking maybe a book of dark jokes. Gallows humor.

Estre found out about the nightshade I stole yesterday. I spilled my guts to her, and I think she realized that I was a person after all. Took her long enough. I never hated her, but she always rubbed me the wrong way. I’m starting to think threatening to shoot her didn’t get us started out on the right foot. She got me a glass of water last night. All it took was me crying on her lap. She decided not to report it to Kashya, but she did make me give the skooma to Alijham. So hooray. Still clean. Woo.

I don’t know if I can tell Raxori about this whole thing though. He’d be torn up if he found out I was anywhere close to a relapse. He’s almost as much of a wreck as I am.

I talked with Lulie again too. She’s as crazy as ever. I love her, but her life is beyond strange. I don’t even know if I believe half the stuff she tells me. She’s obsessed with her baby. Doesn’t see that it looks like an argonians hemroidic arsehole. I can’t blame her, I just worry for her kid. What’d happen if the poor thing dies on her? I’d probably go crazy too if I were her. I’m going crazy as it is, and half of that’s because of Keys. She’s not even my damn kid, but I worry about her like she is. What’s wrong with me?

This journal idea is stupid. I feel stupid for writing it. I’m going to fold this paper up and hide it somewhere, never to be seen again. Here’s hoping I can sleep tonight.

Tomorrow I will;
-Wake up.
-Put on clothes. (WASH UNDERWEAR)
-Cook Guar for Breakfast
-Clean the clinic AND NOT STEAL ANYTHING.
-Pawn dinner and a drink from someone at the tavern.
-Throw an egg at Kashya.

image no longer hosted — https://i.imgur.com/1TzGqtA.png[/img]
image no longer hosted — https://i.imgur.com/hGrf6Pb.png[/img]

Text reads:
I think I actually had a good day today. I'm not sure, but nothing went wrong for me. I feel slightly more accomplished than yesterday. That's not huge, but it's something. It's probably more luck than anything I've done.

I saw Estre in town today. She's actually treating me like a person now. It's strange. I don't know how I feel about her yet, but I'm glad she's not telling me off everytime we talk now. All it took was me stealing from her. Who knew making friends was so easy? She shaved the face of her sexy elf lover in his sleep. The dude looks like someone polished a peach. I've got no idea how Estre managed to shave his whole face without him waking up, or why she would even try, but it gave me a good laugh. I'll have to remember to make fun of him later.

There was another kid in town today. Some cook who tried to feed me centipedes. Real weird guy. Not bad, but you can almost taste the crazy on him. He's too happy. This town is going to crush him. I almost feel bad for him. He's friendly. Just stupid.

Tomorrow I will;
Wake up.
Get dressed (underwear can be dirty because I don't actually care that much.)
Eat leftovers
Buy a real journal.
Make fun of the baby face of Estre’s boyfriend (What is his name??? You know his name! Why are you so bad with names?)
Tell Tilly I love her.
Tell Rax he's okay.
Have the energy to make dinner?

Like a Peach!

Tilly is my best friend
I hope you're reading this Ali

I wish I could draw

image no longer hosted — https://i.imgur.com/k8VgEu5.png[/img]

Journal Texture from goRillA-iNK

Text Reads:
This town is cursed. I spent half the night hiding from some magic fog that may or may not have driven Terath insane. I’ve got no idea what’s going on, but I can’t tell if the fighters guild is helping us, or just bringing their problems home. I saw Keys today. She glared at me, but that’s all. I’ve got a lot of feelings about that, but I’m not going to write them all down. I got a real journal today, but you already know that because you bought it. Sometimes I feel like writing all of this down makes me feel crazy. Maybe I am.

I got to spend more time with Estre today, mostly because we were trapped inside the Tall Trunk for a few hours while the town collectively clenched their arseholes over the weather. She had to leave to kill Terath’s wolf or something. I don’t know. I guess it really upset some people, but I’m just glad it was the wolf that died and not Terath.

Estre and I bonded over slavery. Which is weird when I write it out. It feels like it was something that happened so long ago, but it was recent. I think that’s a good sign. I’m happy to be back. I feel like people are starting to care about me again. I have friends. I told Estre I was poison, and that I mess things up and hurt people. I think I still believe that, but maybe I’m not all bad. Maybe Seriduril’s guard was wrong. Maybe I don’t actually deserve to die, and that I’m actually a good person deep down.

This is getting heavy. I don’t like it. I’m going to doodle in the margins for a few minutes.

Lulie liked Rax. That’s good. It’s hard to bring him places. People like him less than they do me, which is impressive. He just needs to get over himself. He’s like me. When he get’s scared he hurts people. He just needs to be himself and people will like him. Some days I really love him, but other days I wonder if I’m clinging to him because I’m lonely. I feel like I’ve got two voices in my head. One is telling me that I deserve good things every once and awhile, and the other is telling me to push people away and take a short walk off the top of the Tall Trunk. I can’t tell which one is me.

Tomorrow I will;

-Wake up.
-Make Rax cook breakfast
-Ask around for Tricks so I can cash in on that bath.
-Look into another job. Maybe with the trading company girl?

image no longer hosted — https://i.imgur.com/9fYYcBi.png[/img]
Journal stock from goRillA-iNK

Text Reads:
So maybe I’m not getting everything I said I’d get done, done. But does anyone really accomplish all they set out to do? I’m doing fine. I’ve been awake in the mornings, I’ve helped out around the house and at home, and now I’ve got friends again. I had a drink with a couple of strangers today. It was nice. Afer made me beg him for my drink. He’s an ass, and he smells like one too, but he’s funny. I like him.

I still need to cash in on that free bath Tricks offered ages ago. Plus Raxori owes me a foot rub. He’s too good to me. Lulie made me a leg sock. It sucks, but I love her. There’s someone else who’s making me a real one, so I don’t think Lulie will mind if I don’t wear her creation.

I don’t have anything bad to write about in this journal. I feel good. I like that feeling. I’m fixing things.

Oh. Also, three people died just down the road. I guess that’s bad. Better them than me though.

Tomorrow I will;
-Wake up
-Probably skip breakfast and eat a big lunch
-Make Raxori rub my feet foot
-Enjoy myself

image no longer hosted — https://i.imgur.com/Cb9aLjo.png[/img]

Text Reads:
Why do I keep getting myself into trouble? I wish that I would for once think about the consequences of doing something before doing it. I followed a group into the foggy woods after Terath’s pet wolves showed up (who keeps pet wolves???). Keys was going and I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t get lost or something. I don’t know why I still care about what she thinks. Shouldn’t I be over taking care of the kid? She seems to think I am. Anyway, we got lost. We heard things. It sounded to me like Estre called me out for being so self destructive. I’m not sure if it was her though.

It wasn’t. She just told me. I did leave Adsomethingorother’s axe behind. He was not too happy about that. I’ll try and pay him back, but I can’t start owing people money again. I still need to get four thousand drakes back to Alijham, and I don’t know how I’m going to do that. I don’t even know if I’m going to get home tonight. I want to stay out of the fog as much as possible. Estre got hurt in there. I don’t know by what, but she lost a lot of-

image no longer hosted — https://i.imgur.com/JsZc7b2.png[/img]
image no longer hosted — https://i.imgur.com/dgbOolC.png[/img]

Text reads:
Shave me bare, paint me green, and call me a goblin, I apparently can’t keep up with these journals. I got distracted last time I was writing. Lulie came by to tell me her real baby was dead, and that she stole someone else's. So apparently her kid didn’t have some horrible skin condition that she was hiding, but was actually an argonian. I don’t know why I was ready to jump to the conclusion that it was some dark magic before realizing that Lulie is maybe stupider than I am. But I won’t dwell on that. I gave away her baby. Which was hard for her. Am I bitter that I had to do it? Maybe a little. But it was the right thing to do, and I owe Lulie. Better that she doesn't get into the same trouble I did. Besides. I need to do good deeds sometimes too.

I haven't talked to Lulie as much as I should have. I've been busy. I still need to go home and talk to my parents, but it's been so long that I'm afraid to go back. It's been what? Two months? Maybe more. They've probably already mourned me. It's also hard to find affordable transportation. The clinic work makes me look good, but it doesn't make me much money.

I might've found a few new jobs though. Things that'll get me rich quick, hopefully with less execution. Bethany is back. I hope I can mooch off her for a bit. It was actually good to see her again. I hate mages, but it's good to have her on my side. I also ran into another mage. Tall elf guy. Knew him from the post Magpie days. He took me on a trip I'm still not quite over. I don't think he likes me, but I think I might have work with him. If I can get over using portals.

Met some Telvanni with the elf too. Ones I knew. Got into a real big argument with them, and I might have really started to damn myself again. The tall elf’s university says they'll protect me, but I've got to keep an eye out. I have to watch my back, and make some friends.

I'm walking a thin line again. I'm hoping it works out for me this time. I need a break.

Tomorrow I will;
-Forget to write in this journal
-Get around to talking with Lulie again.
-Get that damn bath.

Portal
Lizard Baby