Dar'ashi's Journal

It's been a while since I last wrote in a journal. My last one I had before coming to Valenwood was lost somewhere. I don't remember where, exactly. Almost 5 years of the accountings of my life are gone now. Not that I'm sure anyone would care about the life of a Khajiit who can hardly feed himself, let alone his sister.

Maybe that's not all true. Ever since we came to this town, I've been having a better time. The Wood Elves here buy just about anything from a fresh hunt, straight to the bones. I also have met some good people. Of course, this is Dominion territory, and just outside Elsweyr at that. Khajiits are widely more accepted here than in Convenant lands. Still, I wonder just how long this one's welcome will lasts here. It always seems to run out sooner or later.

So far, Vulkwasten has been like walking across the many dunes of the Alik'ir desert. When I first arrived, I was certain it would be no longer than at least a week before we pushed on to Elsweyr. But, it seems the people I've met convinced me to stay. Generous people spared enough gold for both me and Kiri to get new clothes. Though, I spent it all on her, save a pair of new boots for me. The bartender in the tavern, Dra'ahza, a very kind yet strange khajiit, helps me feed her as well. And, of course, a khajiit named Ma'Sura invited us to move in to her room. Sadly, I fear she's gone for good now. But, on the bright side, I have a mate now. Ko'Nari. The last thing I expected coming here. But does she understand what I am? Can a beggar and a thief like me really be worth it?

I guess the best part is seeing Kiri finally able to learn. Dra has offered her cooking classes, the clinic guy offering her alchemy lessons. Even that khajiit who talks like a Dark Elf tought her something useful. Adults have been fairly nice to her. Though, I haven't seen her around very many children, what few there are. I hope she's able to make friends. But, if we ever had to leave. . . - (The writing cuts off with a thin line of ink, appearing to have been scratched in by accident.)

Had a nightmare the other night. Guess I woke Nari up because of it. I didn't care to write it down, though. I'm sure it doesn't matter. Just another stress-induced nightmare. Luckily they're only occasional, and not one of the worst ones either.

I went to see some sort of brawl, if you can call it that, last night. It was more like an open murder. I arrived there at the last fight, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to go or not, just to see Xithic nearly be decapitated. Is this the kind of shit this town enjoys? Murdering each other? I've lied, cheated, and stolen for a long time, but I'd never try to kill someone just for the "fun" of it. Maybe it was an accident, though. I sure hope so.

Last night was horrible. Poor Dra'ahza. Someone decided to cut off his tail. I spent about an hour in the clinic with him, dealing with arguing of people who didn't know anything about healing. None of the healers were in the clinic, which I guess they don't exactly expect to have Khajiits with their tails missing come in all the time. What kind of freak steals a Khajiit's tail?!

After that, I was told a friend was leaving town, which saddens me. There seemed more to it, though, but he wouldn't say. He gave me a letter to give to Kiri. I'll leave whatever's on it to her alone. It goes bring me concern, though.

I just hope that this filthy tail thief is put to justice, and I wish my friend good luck with whatever he's doing and where ever he's going.

This town is a bittersweet blessing.

After almost two months of being gone, Sura returned just to say she has a few weeks to live. Her acceptance about it is surreal. I'm saddened by it.

On the other hand, I tried my luck with the bazaar. Put some of the sculptures I've done up for sale. Walked away with around 250 coins, and even and sort of job. This is a much bigger step forward than I ever thought would happen. Perhaps I won't have to steal so much. . . Maybe.

I let my feelings toward Sura nearly get me in more trouble than I'd like right now. I suggested a small prank for fun. Me, Sura, and and man I have met before, Llevis, were going to prank someone. One of the clinic healers, Estre. Sura was adamant about pouring rotmeth on her. Once that woman with the missing leg came up and talked us out of it, Sura stormed off. We decided to go with something a little more light hearted. That woman was right. I don't need to let Sura get me into trouble.

Note: she's the same one from that meeting. The only one to show herself. I don't trust her. . .

So much has been happening recently. Where to begin?

Sura came back for a bit, but spoke of her coming death. Now, as I understand it, she's gone. My heart grieves for her.

Kiri has been making friends with the other kids here, which I'm very happy to see.

Speaking of kids, I helped saved one the other day. Keys, I believe. Foul bosmer held a knife to her throat. Luckily, I put an arrow in the skeever's back. The kid made it back with a minor wound. I'm happy she's okay.

I guess I have a job here now. Who would have thought woodcrafting would be accepted in Valenwood, of all places? Makes me wonder if I should stop with my other "activities".

Found an old friend from when I lived near Leyawiin. Small world, it seems. He wants to join the guards. Moons grant him patience and strength on that.

These jobs are going to give me grey fur. Never worked with anyone before. Sometimes it gets nearly unbearable. But the coin is good. More to go towards moving out of this small inn room and into a house near Rawl'kha. It may not be the most honorable way, but the ways of Rahjin and Baan Dar have been what kept me and Kiri alive. That's what I keep telling myself, at least.

Nearly lost an eye during an expedition into some dwemer ruins for Junia. I'm glad I didn't. Just walking away with a few scars, but scars tell stories, right? I've been cutting it close with my arms getting injured. I like archery, and I'd rather not lose that skill. Nari kicked me off the bed for coming back hurt, though, but I won't complain. It's very much worth it with the pay I'm getting out of it.

I took a risk and told Do'Varr a few things, to get off my chest. I was afraid of what he might think, and for a moment I thought he lost trust in me. I'm certain he has lost a little, at least, but thankfully he seems to still see me as a friend. I also went to one of the local priests too. He told me to pray to Jone and Jode for a resolution. I have faith in the moons and in the priesthood, but will prayers really help? I suppose I'll see sooner or later.

Finally bought the house. Spent a few days moving everything in. After five years, finally home. Or, as close to home as we can be.

Down side, though. Out of coin until I get more payment. Hopefully won't have to drop out of another job this week.

Something was wrong with Vulkwasten. Trees were sick. Entire town evacuated further south. Luckily, its a town right outside if Reaper's March.

Reminder: buy a horse. Still a long walk there and back.

Buying that house was not all rainbows and sunshine as I hoped. Turns out it still drains my coin with all the damned bills. Having to support two others at the same time doesn't help, but I'm not going to complain on that. I was hoping to slowly draw away from thieving, but it looks like I won't have a choice now. Otherwise, I've been looking for work or even another job.

Went with Do'Varr on an exploration. Both of us thought it was going to be a good time full of treasure, but both of us almost didn't make it out. It was my fault anyways. I let my greed block out the reality that there was a Dro-m'Athra manipulating me. We made it out unharmed, but the pendant I've had since I was a cub is ruined.

The town's in a piss poor state. No trading, no food, no drinks aside from water. Everyone getting kicked out is a bunch of guar shit. I'm glad I managed to get out before they did, but I have a feeling this might be at a bad time for me.

Speaking of another job, I took up running the tavern in town, since no one else was. The only other person who had the ability was Lucia, and she doesn't want to anymore. So long as I can get coin myself, I'm happy.

Was almost framed for theft of some statue from High Rock. I'd like to think it's just a coincidence that it happened to be stolen only a month after I left that cursed lands, but it bothers me that I'm the one they picked to throw their trail off on. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, and just unlucky, though.

Glad the guards believed me. Ironic, that was probably the first time I wasn't lying about stealing something. I can't afford to pay off that fine anyways. It could have ruined the trust I've gotten around town. Especially Do'Varr's trust, even after I agreed to babysit his kid when he needs it.

I've been so busy these past few months that I've forgotten this journal exists. Probably still would have if I hadn't remember it's nearly been six years since we left our home in the east to escape that plague. Five and a half years of living as beggars and thieves to survive, and now half a year of living a real life. The only thing we have left to do is to return to our birth home and give mother and father a proper burial like we promised. I pray there are remains left to bury.

Kiri needs a new staff. It's in the process of being made, but I dread I will have to tell her that it's put me in debt now. I suppose I was heading that way anyways. At times like these, those jobs would have come in handy. Haven't heard a word from them in months, though. I hope she will look at it and think of where we once were, how far we've come, and where we still have yet to go.

I joined the town council. I hoped it would bring even more coin to my pocket, but it doesn't look like it will. At least I got the easy job so far.

I think all of this worrying about the tavern and the coin and Kiri is having a bad effect on me. I know I haven't been eating well recently. Only enough to keep me from looking like a beggar again.

Not sure if I made a mistake of taking over the tavern or not. It's paid for a lot in giving us a place to live that's not in some dark alley, but it's not something I enjoy. It's not what I should be doing. It's too much to worry about running it, but it's also too much to worry about to hand it off and look for other work. Woodcrafting and carpentry in Rawl'kha and places around the March is fine, but it's not enough to keep me supported. And Valenwood, while many use import wood and such, still isn't the best place for this kind of work. People are scared to even import fruits, for Rajhin's sake. If only we could move a little further into our homeland without worrying about the damned plague.

Kiri is sick. Got to keep an eye on her. Definitely not the same symptoms, looks like it's just a cold, but still. Can't let it get worse.

After some consideration, and the fact that we're moving towns again, I decided to go through with selling the tavern. Bartender work wasn't my style anyways. But, with the coin I'm going to get from it, it can certainly help boost my work. Hopefully it'll bring in just as much coin without nearly as much stress. I don't think little moon cared much for me having the tavern anyways. It paid for the house and that was good enough. Feel bad for those that were working for me, though. I hope their next boss won't be too bad.

The town is moving to a place in Auridon, apparently. I don't have much care for the High Elves' home, but I'll go there from time to time to offer work or just to visit. Hopefully I can get a discount from the Mage's Guild chapter here to get a portal back and forth when I need it, thanks to little moon being one of them. I think this is the time I need to branch out anyways, and offer work to more places. Rawl'kha, Arenthia, Dune. Even places in Auridon may commission me. Valenwood, however, can go be dragged to the Dark for all I care.

I've turned twenty. Twenty years alive under the Ja-kha'jay. I stayed awake last night, wondering what my life could have been like if things had been different. If the flu had never existed, what would my life have been like then? Eventually, I decided it didn't matter. What happened, happened, and can't be changed no matter how much I wish it. Am I sad to be where I am now? No. Kiri and I are alive, in a home, with our own things going on. That's all the matters. The only thing that remains of the past are the promises I made, that I swore myself to. Kiri is well and happy, so therefore my first promise is being well-kept, as I plan to keep it until the day I go to the Sands Behind the Stars. The other promise to give my parents a proper burial, unfortunately, is much harder to accomplish than I hoped. Their bodies are all the way across Elsweyr, and the flu is still present. I just can't bring myself to risk that travel. One day, though. One day. For now, I keep going, not with a smile, but neither with a frown. Twenty years alive in a world like this? I want to say it's almost an accomplishment. But the elves live for, what, hundreds of years? Even humans manage to survive well into their older ages. I don't look forward to old age. Yet I will remain for as long as I need to.

It's been a little while since I wore my father's armor. Last time was with that group I cut my ties from, the one that is way above my league. I am but a simple rogue; a thief of riches that will not be misses. Not a skooma-peddler, or slaver. My father used to wear this armor during his bandit days. I don't know if he would say the same. How much blood could there be deep in these leathers? That is between him and Rajhin, I suppose. I know I have felt the lure of the Footpad again the past few days. And I think it'll start paying off a bit more now. Maybe.

I grabbed something from that Breton mage guy. A letter. Not the heavy bag of coin I hoped, but a true thief knows there is value in information. For certain there may be secrets hidden on this letter, as it's written in a language I don't understand. I am sure there may be someone in Rawl'kha's refuge who may, for the right price, though.

It's been a while. Have I really not written here recently? Well, it doesn't matter much. My home in Rawl'kha burned down. I think I should feel sad about this, but in truth, I don't. Perhaps it is because there is only one home I wish to have, and it is that of our birth home in Pellitine. Varr had the good idea that I should just go and rebuild it, if it's in ruins. Of course, I would have to bury what remains of mother and father first. And perhaps pray to the Gods that the flu is truly gone. Not sure when I will go, but I will. I have to.

I know Kiri is only gone for about a week, but I still feel bad without knowing she's here, safe. She's entirely capable of defending herself, I believe, at least with her magic and cleverness, but this doesn't make me feel better either. This is the first journey she has gone on without being in my shadow, or having me in hers. This journey thing seems like some tribal Anequinian nonsense, but if it helps proves she's worth being considered an adult, I guess that's fine. Not that I would have stopped her, anyways.