Boughes's Weekly Biography

This Middas, the 13th of Evening Star, I heard word of a hangout spot by a particularly shady fellow. He told me he was a portal mage, and could get me to it hassle-free! So I accepted, as I am always ready for a new adventure. Upon entering, though, the building was a bit of a creepster. There were suspicious containers and piles of gold strewn and scattered about, as well as pillows and curtains concealing other sections of the interior. I pressed on, though, as I am a determined and curious creature, not to be frightened by appearances!

As I took a seat on a luxurious pillow, though, a woman’s attention was drawn. She was very suspicious of me and asked me what I was doing here. I told her the truth, as I am always an honest and pure soul, that I was just curious. She told me that was not enough, though, with a frightening look in her eye! I quickly explained myself, that I am but a humble journalist looking for inspiration. That was a bad move, though—as she quickly had her henchman tell me that journalists were not welcome in their abode. He threatened to take off my legs if I did not leave! So, because my life is of great value, my instincts of self-preservation kicked in, and I left, fearing for my poor legs.

I hoped that would be the end of the terror, but the story isn’t over yet. I went back to my place of residence—several provinces away, at that—and I was approached by the henchman while enjoying an evening stroll! He tracked me all the way back home!? What a fright! Fearing for my legs once more, I stopped to hear what he had to say. He told me that I had a bounty on my head, and that people were coming after me. He offered a way to help—no, wait—it was simply blackmail! So, being the strong and valiant woman I am, I refused and told him I could handle myself. Because if a journalist doesn’t have people how to kill her, is she even a real journalist?

So let it be known that as of today, the 14th of Evening Star, that Boughes is a wanted criminal by probably wanted criminals. Does that even make any sense!? No! But it happened. Believe what you will, but I, the lovely and furiously interesting Boughes, know in my heart that these events are nothing but the truth—as always, because I am an honest and pure soul. I hope that nothing of such great horror ever befalls the wonderfulness of you, reader, and have a fantastic rest of your day. Don’t forget that my storytime papers go on sale every Fredas for three drakes a piece!