MilksopMar 01, 2020Mar 01, 2020 at 06:01 AM
#1
She'd given up thinking she'd get any sort of absolute closure. Whether it be in the form of a letter from him or even a letter asking for her assistance in identifying his cadaver. She had already drawn her own conclusions without his assistance. Months had passed without word and the healer was all too aware of the troubles that seemed to nip at his heels at every turn. It only made sense that said troubles would bite down and overpower him at some point, once and for all. He was only human.
And yet, here she was, sitting up in bed with a letter addressed to her in his handwriting. She didn't let herself read it on the spot, to tear it open frantically and let raw emotion dull her senses, certain he would've expected as much. No, with a trembling hand, she set the letter to the side and carried on with her business. She wouldn't be a fool about this, their time together had long since come to a draw. She was no longer sad nor did she sigh over him like she once did. Tobias was a welcome addition into her life and had the stability that Feraan sorely lacked. Dinner was made and left on the hearth as she had no appetite, appointments were double-checked in the clinic's ledger, the clinic's earnings from the week divvied out into separate piles for herself, Nia, and Karitaes. Anything to keep herself occupied and her world uninterrupted. He had no right to do this to her, her shock at the arrival of the letter quickly turning to an anger that only festered with her until she finally let herself read what it was he felt he had to say.
Stone-faced, she carefully opened the envelope and proceeded to look over the long letter. Any bits of relief to hear the familiar wit in his words were extinguished just as quickly as it materialized. It was more or less what she expected, at least the first few pages. He was still neck-deep in the mess he put himself in, still in High Rock, still as stubborn as ever to continue his supposed quest. Guilt seeping into her being at the knowledge of her selfishness, the bitterness of her thoughts, she reluctantly read on. It was the last paragraph that surprised her, the clumsy way he wedged in the confession of his love, as if it was a last moment thought. For someone that boasted of his charm, his skill of conning others with his honeyed words, she found it oddly endearing.
That was it, there was nothing more. No return address, no exact location of his whereabouts, just a flimsy, beat-up letter holding the weight of what he couldn't say to her in person. She was back to a reality without him. The silence of the room making her heartbeat all the more deafening.
She wasn't going to get any sleep.
Kicking the covers of her blankets off of her, she stepped on the letter as she trudged up to her makeshift alchemical laboratory to find peace in bottling tinctures for aching heads. It was late in the night, or perhaps much too early in the morning, when she did finally succumb to her fatigue. Falling asleep among the familiar comforts of medical texts, jars of dried, medicinal herbs, and wet specimen jars crammed along the crooked shelves. When she finally did rouse from her sleep, she was met with an eyeful of dried yarrow but a few inches away from her face. Yarrow, what was she using yarrow for? Unpeeling her face from the pages of an open book (her makeshift pillow), she flipped through her hand-written notes on various herbs native to Auridon until she landed on the entry regarding the herb in question. Yarrow, assists in helping blood clot faster, has anti-septic properties. Her fingertip dropped further down the page, landing beneath a crammed note in margin of the text
'Yarrow symbolizes everlasting love.' Along with a few trivial doodles of hearts as if to drive the point home
It was only then she allowed herself to cry.
And yet, here she was, sitting up in bed with a letter addressed to her in his handwriting. She didn't let herself read it on the spot, to tear it open frantically and let raw emotion dull her senses, certain he would've expected as much. No, with a trembling hand, she set the letter to the side and carried on with her business. She wouldn't be a fool about this, their time together had long since come to a draw. She was no longer sad nor did she sigh over him like she once did. Tobias was a welcome addition into her life and had the stability that Feraan sorely lacked. Dinner was made and left on the hearth as she had no appetite, appointments were double-checked in the clinic's ledger, the clinic's earnings from the week divvied out into separate piles for herself, Nia, and Karitaes. Anything to keep herself occupied and her world uninterrupted. He had no right to do this to her, her shock at the arrival of the letter quickly turning to an anger that only festered with her until she finally let herself read what it was he felt he had to say.
Stone-faced, she carefully opened the envelope and proceeded to look over the long letter. Any bits of relief to hear the familiar wit in his words were extinguished just as quickly as it materialized. It was more or less what she expected, at least the first few pages. He was still neck-deep in the mess he put himself in, still in High Rock, still as stubborn as ever to continue his supposed quest. Guilt seeping into her being at the knowledge of her selfishness, the bitterness of her thoughts, she reluctantly read on. It was the last paragraph that surprised her, the clumsy way he wedged in the confession of his love, as if it was a last moment thought. For someone that boasted of his charm, his skill of conning others with his honeyed words, she found it oddly endearing.
That was it, there was nothing more. No return address, no exact location of his whereabouts, just a flimsy, beat-up letter holding the weight of what he couldn't say to her in person. She was back to a reality without him. The silence of the room making her heartbeat all the more deafening.
She wasn't going to get any sleep.
Kicking the covers of her blankets off of her, she stepped on the letter as she trudged up to her makeshift alchemical laboratory to find peace in bottling tinctures for aching heads. It was late in the night, or perhaps much too early in the morning, when she did finally succumb to her fatigue. Falling asleep among the familiar comforts of medical texts, jars of dried, medicinal herbs, and wet specimen jars crammed along the crooked shelves. When she finally did rouse from her sleep, she was met with an eyeful of dried yarrow but a few inches away from her face. Yarrow, what was she using yarrow for? Unpeeling her face from the pages of an open book (her makeshift pillow), she flipped through her hand-written notes on various herbs native to Auridon until she landed on the entry regarding the herb in question. Yarrow, assists in helping blood clot faster, has anti-septic properties. Her fingertip dropped further down the page, landing beneath a crammed note in margin of the text
'Yarrow symbolizes everlasting love.' Along with a few trivial doodles of hearts as if to drive the point home
It was only then she allowed herself to cry.