Siria's personal journal

"Entry 1: Today I arrived in shatter grove, to be honest never knew this town existed before arriving in it, but most of the people here seem nice enough. But the truth is often hidden under the surface of the water, civilized people can quickly turn into greater savages then the monsters they claim to stand against." Some lines were drawn lines through, they were incomprehensible, the entry continues with "I managed to enter what seemed to be a small tavern. And I swear when I looked over at the Dunmer standing in the corner, I swear I thought it was Mirena. I had to get closer to hear a heartbeat, and sure enough this beautiful Dunmer's heart was actually going. Not my Mirena. Should I even say my Mirena anymore? I'm not sure, this whole thing is confusing. I kept staring at her, had to make an excuse. If it wasn't the way she looked her laugh, her mannerism all reminded me of the woman I loved. I had to leave the tavern for a little bit, I could hear her say goodbye to me as I left, was that just common decency or something more?

After I left the tavern a cat become suspicious of me, commented on my pale skin and interesting eyes. So as any intelligent woman in this day and age, I commented on how I appreciated the flattery but they were not my type. It seemed to work as far as deflections go. I will need to find a quality ring of illusion if I am to stay here for more then just a week.

I strolled around town all the way near Matthias, I noticed a manor with the name Avalon on the front. My family owned this estate?! I tried to enter, but the guard demanded I show proof of identity that I belong to the family. Of which I have none, everything is back in the imperial city. This whole life of mine is a nightmare.

Later towards the night I returned to a mer breaking his finger just to view the broken bone with a device. The woman with him, Estre or something of the like, she seemed to fawn over him. It must be nice, to even secretly care for someone, be able to touch them. If anyone touched my hands they would probably feel ice cold. Maybe that is just my fate, to be alone.

Towards the end of the night and my final event of this entry, a cat named Teishan found me, in relative drunken stupor watching the embers burn in the fireplace of the tavern. I had to have been drunk or something, for I told him much about my past and thankfully i'm not dead so I must have left out the part about my werewolf brother and I going our separate ways and my previous girlfriend who infected me with vampirism died but I survived. I will have to watch out for now who I tell what to. Maybe I can get in with the town guard and the mage tower down the road, try to find some semblance of a normal life here. Until they discover what I am that is, and when that happens i'm not running. I am tired of running, if they kill me, so be it." There was a little drawing of a aldmeri dominion eagle at the end of the entry, signifying an end for now.

Dry tear stains were covered on this page "Entry 2: I started the morning off right with a funeral. Its been a long time coming. I shouldn't cry for my mother, she wanted me gone after the incident with Mirena. But my father..He was a good Nord. I should not even call it a funeral, there were no bodies to bury. Probably under tons and tons of meters of rubble in the imperial capital. But at least I saved heirlooms to symbolize their souls. A circlet from my mother, and my father's shield. I don't know how I managed to get that out from the city when I did. Why did I even take it? Not that it matters now, my mother always wanted to follow my father into Sovngarde. I'm not sure if they let high elves into the halls of glory, but I have hope.

After the funeral, I sent a courier from Auridon, Skywatch to deliver a message to my brother. Telling him of the funeral, I hope he is not mad, or anything about the funeral. He did not mean to do what he did. I can only hope one day we can reunite as siblings. I hate this lonely feeling. The gods must be laughing, the princes too for that matter, a vampire crying over a werewolf brother and a mother who hated her and a father who preferred her brother." The entry ends with her eagle drawing once more.

"Entry 3: I met a cat woman by the name of Niaali'jo, a vampire like myself. She attempted to convince me to go on an animal only diet. I may be a monster, a blood drinking savage who happened to feed on my way back to my little cave, but I will not drink from rats. But an interesting topic was sprung up in conversation between myself, and the Nord woman who's name I have forgotten. I can pitch in to the town, by hunting the local wildlife and supplying pelts to the town. Or even meat to the tavern. I will be able to put my vampire abilities to use, and if I happen to catch any rats or birds, Niaali will be the first person I go to. She may pay for a rodent. I have also decided to be open about who my parents were, if the others decide I am not a valued member of society because I come from a Nordic father, then if anyone finds out about the vampirism I never had a chance anyway."

"Entry 4: Today I messed up. I may have upset Estre. Every time I attempt to make a joke, one that would have worked back home, it fails in Auridon. People here, their culture...its so different. Do I really belong? I have met other vampires, I even smelled one today at the guard demonstration Kashya held in the town center, but...I feel like even among my own kind I don't belong. Part of me wants to leave, and part of me wants to protect the people here. Alena is nice, outgoing, qwerky even, she reminds me of Mirena. She mentioned a Gavyn today, I assume that is her lover. I suppose I can give up on that idea. Hopefully my brother got my letter and...is at least happy to hear I am alive.

On a side note a posting was put on the board today, apparently there are dangerous people in town, maybe enemies. If I see them while in town I will keep my eye on them. And if need be, one by one I will hunt them down, maybe I am a monster. Maybe I should be eliminated for my ways, but until that day comes, I would rather do the darker things so that the townspeople can rest easier.

"Entry 4: "Tired today. After the incident earlier with Estre, I left town to go and hunt some wolves or deers, anything I could find. Thankfully I found both. Estre assured me there would not be a risk of legal issue, the town is too small I suppose. I killed a deer and a couple wolves, and skinned them. had no way to transport though. As luck would have it, a travelling merchant with a cart wandered on by, relieved him of his burdensome cart. Used some on board boxes and filled three of them, one of the leather, one with the pelts and furs, and the other with edible meat. Dropped one off at the tavern, the other at the forge, and another at the general store. Figure that can be my good deed for the day. Afterall, who doesn't like free stuff? I hope this is my final entry for my second day in town, but who knows...I thought about my brother today. More so then usual, seeing kashya and that other altmer, even teishar and estre, everyone here has someone important to them. Even with all of our misdeeds to each other, I do miss what remains of my family." There was more to the entry, however there were dark lines scribbled across the last bit.

"Entry 5, day 3: I really should become more consistent with the way I format these entrys. In any case, today was interesting. I snatched a young woman from the lake near Matthisen or whatever that town is called, she tasted good. Events were fairly dull until I went into town towards the night, and the rain. Hate rain. Fuck rain. Anyway, me and Kari were going to find a dog a home, or at least track where they came from but for some reason she...just bailed on me. I waited for a while and even in the rain for a bit. Oh well, I guess she must have just gotten tired of me or something. Maybe Niaali said something to her...I would hope she would not sell out one of her own kind. The tavern became rather hostile shortly after everyone went in from shelter of the rain. Estre and Seivn seemed to have some kind of lovers quarrel. I tried to calm down everyone after it had gone on long enough, and Theo a vampire I discovered incessantly trying to inquire on the truth of their issue did not help. I managed to have him keep his curiosity at bay for now. The two separated from the tavern after that, and Alena following a stranger's hobby of tarot card reading, decided to read both mine and Estre's divinities. I got a bit nervous during mine, while my past card did not make much sense, as I have never had much control over my vampire self and I had a rather calm childhood before the vampirism. In any case I got nervous on the present card, where it said I had the reversed lovers card. If she had asked me if I loved anyone my answer would have either been "Once, though she betrayed me" or "Maybe...why?" and then that might have gotten extremely awkward very quick. Thankfully it just meant I need to accept myself and move on from the past. She says she has been there. I don't think she was a vampire at one point, an abomination to society, but its a nice thought. Then finally the last card spoke of me one day finding satisfaction and contentment. Maybe she is right, maybe if I can find people I can honestly call my friend, adapt to my surroundings and protect the people here then yes I will have a good future.

Before the tavern incidents though...I overheard Kashya speaking about the possibility the town could be attacked, and even worse Alena has a bounty on her. Apparently also the dominion does not like those of us in this town? What if the dominion comes here in force to both kick us out of town and take Alena? Im sure Gavyn could protect her but what if he can't? If I use my power to protect her, ill out myself as a vampire. But if I don't, I practically abandon someone I want to be friends with and I can't and I won't do that. I suppose I just have to hope no danger comes to town, I don't know what I would do. On the bright side of all things, I finally moved into the inn at the tavern. Didn't know they had one honestly. I will have to visit my mage friend later on to acquire another service. This journal holds my secrets. I will have the mage enchant my book with a spell that allows only myself to open its contents. I am wary of asking for more services, but...I need that necklace and I need that enchantment. Everything else is secondary right now."

"Entry 6: day 3. I am being a bitch to anyone in my direct vicinity over stupid reasons. I really should be mindful of it. Niaali tried once again to convince me to go "vegan" but that is never happening. Karitaes has some kind of like, adopted child I guess? So many things happened today I don't even feel like writing an entry. Helped out Estre towards the night but I guess I went a bit too far scolding Yivu or whatever that new cat's name is. I wish I could just cut loose, blow off some steam without getting hunted down like an animal. Imagine a fucking, insect constantly scratching at the back of your head, when your hungry and then someone is either too slow, says something dumb, or someone gets snarky. That insect has been poking you all day, scratching all night, I swear I wish I could fight someone. I NEED to blow off steam before someone gets hurt. Tired of feeling like im in an ocean of blood without being able to drink."

"Entry 7: day 4. The town was attacked by some psycho mage with a vendetta. It took literally all of us to hold the town before the dominion arrived. We would rather not like to deal with the dominion so it has been decided we will leave shatter for somewhere new. Kashya was witness to me using necromancy in the heat of battle, and I caught a side eye from her. Eventually we will have that talk, maybe I will reveal the vampirism to her, maybe not. For now, I volunteered to be a forward scout. Apparently the jack off named Cantose has a mage contact with locations possibly able for us to use. Eventually they will all realize the desert has the best chance for us to remain undetected for as long as possible. Kari was injured in the battle, or paralyzed, so much happening I wanted to leave before questions were asked so I had Kashya tell her goodbye for me. I arrived in souther Elsweyr if I am right. The ocean to my back and the desert in front of me, I remember my mother making me study maps. I also remember an old story about a large town, walled off that my mother use to mention if she were to ever hold a vampire army, it would be there. Only problem is, I have no fucking clue where the hell to even start looking. I hope Cantose's mage knows more then just the story my mother told me. In any case it will be a few days before Kashya's group even makes it to the desert, if they come to the desert afterall and I am not just wandering the wrong region because they chose to go to skyrim or some shit. I suppose north is the only option. Things will get both easier and harder when I join up with Kashya's group. While easier to brave the desert in a group, feeding will get harder when they get here. That's all for this entry, I don't have the time to just sit around fucking around with a book all day."

"Entry 8: day 5. Today I have established somewhat of a temporary camp. I still need to go into town for supplies. I want to keep people away, perhaps if I find a animal, skin it, I can prop its bones onto stakes to ward off anyone who tries to come into my camp. I left a small pathway to camp, all the way from shore. Using bones of animals I found along the way. Of course they were still in use when I originally found them...no matter. Kashya will need a way to track me down, and after seeing my necromantic powers at the town, I am sure this will suffice as a bread crumb trail. Nothing much else to write down, I have been unable to find a suitable place. The desert is either too empty at times or towns in spots I almost think we could build up ourselves."

"Entry 9 day 6: Kashya was already in elsweyr I guess. Found her at the market and I guess fucking Cantose had a mage take them directly to our new home. Seriously, fuck you Cantose and fuck your mage too. We talked on the way, and once we got there. She has threatened to arrest me should people find out I am a necromancer, so I figured why not go all the way and revealed my vampirism. The conversation was less then Ideal but I think I broke her heart of steel when I gave her a little statuette I made. She told me when the assembly was and to pay attention to memoirs and such. I think she likes me, deep...deep down. I also heard my brother is with the others, and he will be here once they arrive. Karitaes, Ashan, Hlor, Kashya, Alena. All the important ones will be here soon."